Thursday , 27 November 2014
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Advice Needed: I’m A Muslim Man But I’m in Love With a Christian Girl. What Should I Do?

worried-black-man

 

Dear Jay,

I’m a Muslim & I’m deeply in love with a Christian girl & she also feels the same way about me. We both have tried to let go but all efforts proved abortive. The problem is that nobody wants to change religions, especially her because of pressure from her family& friends. I really love her & would love to spend the rest of my life with her. What should we do? Our only obstacle now is religion.

I.B

Dear I.B,

I can imagine how it feels to love someone so much and have something minor stand in the way. However, if no one compromises, religion can be a very big obstacle. I wish I could tell you to go ahead and marry her but if both your families are at war, it could put undue strain on you both.

However, if you decide that you can put up with the challenges and stand by each other no matter what, then you can go ahead and marry her because marriage is first and foremost about the husband and wife. If you cannot cope with both your families being against you, then I suggest you say your goodbyes. I wish you both all the happiness in the world.

Sincerely,

Jay…

If you have a dilemma and you’d like to share, send an email to [email protected]

 

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30 comments

  1. Did I hear you call religion a minor thing? I guess info naija now employ foreigners to write for them.

  2. Bolatito Lizzy

    This same thing is happening to me presently. Am a christian and my guy’s muslim. I think everything needs prayer. God ll surely lead us 2 our path. Shallom!

  3. Our prophet(S.A.W) said, we should seek spinster’s hand in marriage only those who possess Beauty,wealth,good family background and religion.But he(S.A.W) urged us(muslims) with those with our religion because all these may fade only religion is everlasting.So, solution is either she fully accept your religion(Islam) or find another husband.

    • SalamU alAEKUM brother umar ibraheem.that hadith you quoted is a daif hadith. Sorri to reply in that way. Ahmad pbuh, our beloved prophet said; people marry bcos of not u should marry a woman with the above u mentioned. If you are to marry, the 1st criteria is: she should be a muslim(one who submit her will to the sole creator).

  4. The problem is that noboby wants to change relegion especially her becouse of pressure from her family&friends. That means you are likely to change yours cause you don’t have pressure from your family.

  5. SAIFULLAHI BELLO

    PLS because of a girl, dont give up ur right path .our lord said t”his world’s life is nothn but play the eternal is where permanant life exist.” pls reflect well on the matter.

  6. Something must be wrong with your islamic background

  7. Bible says: we shuld marry in d house hold of faith which means marry in d Lord. I’ll never advice n d name of love marriage bcos 2moro he’ll marry anoda wife in d name of religion by den ur faith is gone. Pls let my dearest sister flee 4rom deciet, hw can a light walk n darkness God 4bid. Shallom.

    • Im sorry about wat u r going through right now, but my comment goes to that brother ‘macho’ who commented..when will nigerians stop being sentimental and avoid prejudice? How can our country even develop with the likes of people who regard other peoples religion as ‘darkness’? Dat s not d right way 2 think o.my advice 2 dat brother who luvs a christian is to check urself, if you think you are doing d right thing then good for you but if not…

  8. To me, the best option for you is to change your faith and follow/marry her since you loved her so much. You have seen your missing rib where your happiness as a man is gauranteed all the days of your life. On the other hand, you also have an option of gambling with your life by marrying somebody else (another girl) who may not be your wife just because of religion. The choice is yours! Just pray seriously over it, and make your grab or take a walk.

  9. I really feel your pain….i will advice you to pray over it if is God will for both of you to be together then trust me nothing can change it. Love is power.be a man

  10. If you consider this a problem it means u don’t hv knowledge of Islam as a Muslim….Islam allows a Muslim Man to Marry a Christian lady so far there is love, respect and mutual understanding of each other btw them…..I expected fellow Muslim commentators here to hv pointed out this fact….bt it seems we all need to read and understand this great universal religion ourselves……bro this is not a controversial issue, it’s allowed in Islam go and marry your love

  11. Ozokolie oluchi constance

    why d we always go mad about religion. u are a Christian b/c ur borne in christian home & a Muslim b/c ur borne in Muslim home.so all is created in image and likeness of God.In Kogi, Yaroba and middle belt in a family of 5 u will find both religions living in peace.If ur buz partner is frm ur religion and treat u very badly and another frm different religion treats u very nicely. will u continue to dispise dat person b/c ur religion differs?. some are in one religion b/c of wot dey gain pls dont be used.Brother follow ur HEART.

  12. WOW,THIS IS GREAT…..
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  13. My Dear sister , Light and darkness can’t walk together . in times of crises in your home where are u going to run to ? is it in the church or in mosque ? think twice b4 you decides bcos once you are in there is no going back . a word is enough for the wise . shalom

  14. In such issues like dis, marrying a christian girl is very complicated, to what i have heard from some scholars of (tafsir) like sheik mohd bin uthman, according to his (fatwa) says a girl if she is a christian,if you want to marry her she must puts into hijjab and she must embrace islam whole heartedly not a nominal muslim and not even because of you, before you should even propose to her, dis is the first steps. For the remaining qualities go to his topic on the qualities of woman to be in islam.

  15. Religion or ethnic background. Which is the worst obstacle to marriage in nigeria

  16. 1st of all we must all undastd dat no matter what eva we do in life, there is no praya as greata dan dat 4m our parent. Neva u 4get dat u are nt just marry 2 dey guy or lady alone bt 2 d family. Think abt it

  17. Salam Sedeeq Wright

    Stop deceiving urself it won’t work period….. Islam is a religion of peace actually, but does not mean will should go into wrong path( I mean darkness) in oda to correct Watz wrong…. So, @shallom… Islam is truth why Urs is darkness as u say….

  18. u call ur religion ‘ISLAM’ an obstacle, my Almighty Allah 4 give u. As a true muslim 4bid what Islam 4bid n do what Islam accept, u no what 2 do stop writting rubbish here man, or betta go n c a Mallam 4 Islamic advice.

  19. Muhammad bin usman attaymiy

    @jimoh bin baz, jazakallahu khairan fi hazal ijtihad. That is why islam is different from all other religions. We dont all mistakes to go like that. The person u hav corrected should take note of the fact that, a muslim is not suppose to talk about what he dont know. That hadith he translitrated was translitrated wrongly and it passed wrong message.

  20. Just give up and go your way,b’cos at the end trouble!

  21. To be Muslim is to be totally submitted to God, The creator, Who is not created. He sees all He created but none see Him. He speaks, He speaks to Moses, who also heard Him as well but no other creature except His Angels. He guide to the right way whoever He will and guide astray whoever He will. None is worthy of worship except Him. He forgive all sin except taking partner(worshipping other creature) with Him. The Creator of Adam(pbuh),Noah(pbuh), Abraham(pbuh),…., Moses(pbuh), Jesus(pbuh) and Muhammed(pbuh). ANYBODY who does not believe in those apostle and their messages does not believe in his/her Creator. The One God. No other god except Him.

  22. Just marry her,but both of u will agree on a term.the children will be muslims. Pls be a good husband do not cheat,keep all ur promise to her.

  23. whatever attach(lawful) to Islam will not perish. Whatever does not attach(lawful) to Islam will surely perish take it or leave it. Whatever you do for the pleasure of your creator will last and being rewardable. Whatever you do in otherwise will not last, be it for personal pleasure or for the sake of love.

  24. I addviss u search for another girl instead of changing ur religion along with her own religion. Tanx

  25. Nawa 4 all dis Muslims running their mouths here

  26. My dear broda in islam(i e religion of peace) don‘t let anybody decieve you, search for other sister of your religion is better for you if you know,coz this life is nothing but hereafter is our abode which we will surely account of all of what we do in this earth and a small atom can‘t be left unaccounted, even marry a slave sister of your religion is better for you if there is a (slave) coz marriage is another world entirely, be wise.

  27. Marry her with the undastding that each of you ‘ll continue with urs religion. When God bless d family with child, none of u shld intend to force him/her to follow your religion. Let him/her choose d religion of his/her choice. Good luck Guy.

  28. Marry her and believe in Jesus, this will turn you to everlasting life cause only Jesus can save you and her.

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