By recognizing the early symptoms and being proactive, you can better learn to separate work from your personal life and be successful in both. To help you do this, INFORMATION NIGERIA has put together 11 things to do when you realize your job is destroying your marriage.
Be honest with yourself about what’s happening.
The first step to dealing the a problem like this is acknowledging it. If you think work is spilling into your personal life too often, it probably is. “You may be fortunate enough to have a partner who has a high tolerance to ‘feeling your pain,’ but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting them personally
Take greater responsibility and accountability.
“It will give you greater confidence if you begin doing some soul-searching and self reflection. Create alone time just for that purpose. Analyze the difficulties you’re having at work.
Try to train yourself to draw a better line between work and home.
Get outside feedback.
Ask trusted friends if they feel like your work problems dominate your conversations. If they say no, it doesn’t mean this isn’t happening at home with your partner. But if they say yes, it will confirm that you might have a pattern of “poisoning” conversations with work related drama. “If they’re good friends, they will provide honest feedback that you can apply to improving your marriage
Ask your partner if they want to hear you vent.
Your spouse might not want to tell you to stop talking about work, but if you ask them how they feel about your venting, they make take the opportunity to be honest.
Find a professional to vent to instead.
Constantly complaining to your spouse will cause them to be stressed or frustrated, which can put a strain on the relationship. So, instead of coming home and venting to them every night, find someone else — a career coach, mentor, therapist — to talk to.
Address the issue(s).
You’re married. You need to communicate.Find out if your job or work schedule is actually the problem. Then talk through the specific issues at hand. Find out what’s bothering your partner and ask what you can do to make things better. Together, come up with solutions and a plan. And don’t just have one conversation. Make this an ongoing thing.
Include your spouse in your decisions.
“Have a serious conversation with your spouse about your mutual goals and long term plans.Even though it’s your job that’s creating the difficulties, treat your spouse like a partner in the decision-making process. Create a plan if that’s what it takes and set some goals and timelines.
Make changes at work.
Maybe you’re having marital problems because your work schedule is getting in the way of your personal life, or your new boss is making you a miserable person. Whatever the issue, do something about it!If there’s absolutely no way to remedy the problem at work and you want to save your marriage, consider finding a new job that will allow you to have better work-life balance.
Plan fun activities (and don’t cancel them!).
If you are committed to going to dinner together or watching a movie, stick with the plan. These types of activities will force you to shift your mindset away from work and toward building a more positive relationship. And following through with plans will prove to your partner that they’re your priority.
Consider marriage counseling.
If things aren’t improving, remember there’s no shame in seeking outside help.If things have deteriorated substantially, then consider marriage counseling and really think about whether your job is worth risking your marriage for. If need be, make a mutual decision to look for a new job