Being on a danfo every once in a while is inevitable except you are a very rich Lagosian. However, a danfo trip could go from bad to disastrous even before you say ‘jack’ and those unfortunate incidents have a way of happening at time of your life when all you want is good luck. INFORMATION NIGERIA has put together all the unfortunate things that could go down in a danfo.
When the passenger sitting beside you has the kind of mouth odour that killed Abacha
When you wore your new crisp white shirt for that interview you’ve have been preparing for but the passenger sitting beside you is all sweaty and rubbing their arms on your shirt.
Or when someone starts to use your well polished shoe as their foot mat
Or the scrabby danfo door ceases your shirt and puts a very undesirable hole at a very conspicuous area
When you have a splitting headache but the man sitting beside you continues to shout ‘hello hello talonsoro’ into your ears in the name of making calls
Or the danfo conductor crosses his very smelling armpit over your nose to get fare from the passenger at the back
Or when fuel suddenly finishes at a place where there is no filling station in sight and you are so late for work
When you board the bus with your last card and the danfo suddenly spoils miles before you get to your destination and the conductor totally vanishes
When the conductor says ‘owo da’ and you discover your wallet has transferred ownership from when you were trying to rush into the bus that came shouting ‘wazo wazo’ when everyone else has been shouting N100 any bus stop
When another passenger spits out of the window but breeze brings it back to your face
When the guy with the smelling armpit decides to start toasting you
Or when the fat lady sitting beside you decides to get money out of her purse