Nigerian lady rejected marriage proposal because of this

According to a Nigerian guy and forum user, Duchez, here’s the reason his friend’s girlfriend rejected a marriage proposal.

Story below;

My friend just shared his story with me. I have advised him but I need your thoughts.

He met a lady around March this year and they became friends. He is an Accountant and works with a Federal Government Agency in Abuja. Along the line he asked her out and she insisted he finishes his ICAN before they can start dating. 

Long story short, she later accepted to date him. Probably because he passed all but one of the exams in the Professional stage of ICAN. He recently invested some huge sum of money into a biz deal. He told me it was actually all of his savings and he would become a multi millionaire if the deal works out. 

He decided to test this lady to find out if she will stick with him if the going ever gets tough (as a result of our insistence that the lady isn’t really into him). And so he told her that the deal he was working on had failed and that he has become broke. He said he will like to marry her and try to sustain themselves on his current salary of about 180k pending when things become better but she replied that she can’t marry someone who is earning 180k monthly.

She feels it would make her drop from her standard of living as she wants to live inside the city of Abuja and not in the outskirts like Karu or Kubwa. Mind you, her parents live in one of these places and the guy is not even thinking of living in anywhere beyond these places like Nyanya/Mararaba. 

This guy loves this girl so bad and is a very hardworking guy. He is hoping to get promoted when he completes his ICAN and is even looking at getting a better job in a bigger Government Agency or a Multinational company. He is so distraught at what the lady said. We have advised him to forget about her and move on, but he is considering opening up to the lady that what he said about the deal was just a test in the hope to make her re-consider him. 

Please, were we wrong with our advice? Meanwhile, this guy’s ex loves him like there is no tomorrow and she will gladly marry him even if he was earning 30k monthly but due to family pressure on him to marry a graduate and an Igbo lady, he broke up with her. Me thinks he can still persuade his parents to accept the lady. 

If you were in our shoes, will you advice your friend differently?

Thanks for your comments. The lady earns around 180k but she mentioned that she spends around 300k when going shopping and she is scared she would no longer be able to do that if she marries him as she would have to contribute almost all her salary to maintaining the family.

Nairaland forum

35 COMMENTS

  1. if he is mad let he go for that foolish girl see in life you go for what you love not what people love.how can you say your family said you can’t married the one you love and u abandoned her.go for the one that love you ooo that is my own thank you.

  2. the man is crazy so at his age and this modern world his family members are still dictate for him well the man is not mature enough to be a married man because he don’t know what he love and he loves what people love so let him forget marriage till when he mature.

  3. My brother, please don’t ever tried getting married to such materialistic lady. you have just put her to a test and she failed woefully. To save yourself, it will be better for you to leave her now because if you eventually marry and things changed negatively. she will definitely abandon you. Including the children she might have gave birth for you. my brother, you better wise up, marry a lady for whom you are and not what you have okay. A word they said is enough for the wise. I rest my case.

  4. to me she’s a smart girl .. she is only protecting her self from , probably the life of poverty she was raised.. Nigeria is not the kind of country u take d risk of getting married only because of love .( u go chow sand) I have seen similar issues bit does girls were not as wise as this smart Lady who is our topic of discussion…

  5. If I may ask, what is the essence of running a test? dt we might find answers to our problems right n proffer a solution to them right? My guy here v seeing answers to his problem and choose to remain adamant rather than giving it an ever lasting solution.Is alright continue if u think dt real love can be bought with money. D wise learn from history while fools learn from their scar. When it rings gbagam for ur ears u go understand the different between capital letter B and the other B inscribed by cow’s leg when it steps on d ground.

  6. my guy no too much talk for this he already has a view of what their future will be like so the final decision is left to him either to continue swimming in the pool of death or run for his life. Ndi bee anyi si na agbisi gbaa otilee òmúrù akò that’s all I have to say.

  7. the lady is not a wife materials at all as she only loves his money and not the guy, the guy should run faraway from that money and material loving idiot. money& material things should not be compared to real love !!! My guy go back to who can be wt u @30k and who can not stay wt 180k pls shine eye

  8. She is a technology, and most modern days thief.. Don’t marry her or you will be an errant boy to her someday… Please in marriage, live beauty and class aside and think of the future oooo..the future is always pregnant in marriage and not everyone can carry it ooo…biko..

  9. to me I think leaving the lady will be the best options since she can’t manage the salary of the guy this guy must leave her if not he will regret of marry her later she won’t be able to manage with you guy god will give you your own when the time reach just be praying and have focus everything will be all right don’t fall victim of women not all gold is glitter.

  10. my advice is,let him go for his ex that love him.considering parents in a case like this is wrong. who is going to live with the lady,the young man or his parent.when his parent are gone,who lives with the guy for his rest of his life.A man should marry for his happiness not for any other person.

  11. The test has really explain her option for loving him.. She did not come for love but for money. who knows how she is going to treat the guy after marriage..
    I advice the young man to fall back to his ex as well see how he can persuade his parents to get married to his ex, send her to school to become a graduate to please his parents..

  12. That guy shld run for his life. She earns 180 and spends about 300k. Why is the balance coming from? Probably other men. A woman that is not ready to contribute for the betterment of her home is not a good woman. Oga pls go bavk to your ex. She can further her education after marriage.

  13. for me I support u guyz, bcus non of us can tell the future. if he convince de girl n she finally marries him, wat if he goes broke again she will definitely run away from him. let him just go back to his lovely ex or look for another girl.

  14. Ahh this is a very serious matter o. My advice is for him to just forget about this girl because she doesn’t even love him at all. She is just sticking to him now because he is paying her bills. You better run 440 my brother that girl will render you to a Vegetable if you go ahead to marry her o

  15. guy 4 the current lady, she is clear with her demand, no money no love, why going after someone who don’t believe in future, but dwell in her little present. she will ruin ur life if going go bad in later days.

  16. Telling d girl that she was just being tested will b very immature.
    This guy should b thankful that d girl has showed him that she is who will dump a man in hard times.
    Go back to ur ex who is ready to marry u even if ur salary is 30k then build her up to which ever height /level u want.
    Know what u want!

  17. Marriage this days have nothing to do with parents making d choice for u who to marry and who not to marry!!! so living a girl u love because of ur parents is not wise at all besides ur d one who is getting married, d one who is gonna feel d pain or d happiness of marriage. so bra be wise and if am to say marry for love i mean someone who is ready to hold ur hands through thick and thin someone who is gonna walk up to u wen things aren’t going well to say hey darling it’s gonna be okay…..