Guest Post: Heartbreak 101


Life is said to be full of expectancies (though I don’t really know who first said it). Expectancies; great and small, expectancies to wake up every morning, to graduate from school, to get a good job, to have a good life and maybe live in a country where the light never goes out. Yup! Expectances, but then from somewhere between the great and small ones, and there comes a heartbreak.

Now, just pause and think, (or something close to it); how it feels like to have your heart broken. The comical sound that comes to my mind is walking on gravel. Well, there are many words to describe the feeling: nasty, terrible, wicked, disastrous, a long sigh, thank goodness (because truly some are a way out) but mostly it falls into the sad and negative part (even for those who have never been in a relationship, not to talk of being heart broken).

At a point in life, everyone gets his or her heart broken even Kanye, your favourite aunt, Tony Tetulla, lovely neighbour next door, and I guess it is okay to assume that it is one of those things we got from Adam N Eve. Imagine how Lady Eve felt when her man wouldn’t speak for her but rather kept pushing the blame on her or how Sir Adam felt when his woman tempted him (… and in his mind he might have been saying: Damn! she has ruined me).

A school of thought founded by King Kong (a crazy dude not the famous ape, who says he has got a big heart for many girls to share at the same time) argue systematically (I say systematically to make it sound like somewhat scientific), that even though not everyone has had a chance to get a heartbreak, every girl is entitled to at least one heartbreak in a lifetime and as many as you can handle (crazy I know, but that’s King Kong,).

The line backing up their argument would be that there are more women than men in the world, with a rough ratio of 3:1 (believably an argument for another day), so every lady should at least get one heartbreak to give the next a chance at meeting someone before she gets hers (for the second time, totally crazy but still a winning argument, right guys?)

One thing I surely know is that if (assuming) a census body was to be carried out to check the number of people with heart breaks (I know you are thinking Census body? Please!), ladies i.e. the female species would most definitely pull a high number of people with possible/positive Heart Break Syndromes. The question is WHY?

You can very well be saying, ladies are soft, they easily fall in love, men are schemers, you know, stuffs along that line, but would that be totally true? I am not so sure. Some ladies just love to get their hearts broken ( an awkward reasoning right?), but what then would you say of ladies who tell (nearly) every guy that tries to ask them out that they are just recovering from a heart break and so want things slow. Even the ones who haven’t being in a relationship before, start off with that line. This was the case of one of my buddy who was pulling four girls at the same time and all four used the same line. (In his defence, I would say, he was just trying to mend all their hearts, too much work for one man though).

Even though heart breaks are somewhat synonymous with ladies, guys get some of it too. Just like one guy I know, who is a friend of a friend (of a friend), who had his heart smashed into a bazillion pieces by a girl he just couldn’t get over. She kept doing it and doing it and the hunk kept smiling in sorrow. It only goes to prove that we sure have female Casanova’s (Anyone heard of the Malaysian female Casanova who used facebook love to con six men?).

Truthfully speaking, heart breaks really hurt (experience speaking). Not every person has a strong heart. Just a little push and some people would fly off the cliff and still many people jump from one person to the other, moving along with battered pieces of their (supposed) hearts and still they act as if nothing happened, though they would be secretly hurting within and then the next person comes around and adds a little pepper to the injury.

Heartbreak victims when are devastated, they try to look for other ways out, for example, changing from being straight to finding a gay(ish) mate, from living a life of honour to popping the cherry of a minor or simply retiring and living a hate filled life. Repercussion is a mighty big word (especially to people facing it) and heart breakers, one way or the other would always get to face theirs (alleluia somebody!)

The thing about surviving heart breaks is looking it straight in the face and saying to oneself; WWASD. (What Would A Spartan Do?). Get up and fight, that is it. Not in the light of terror a scorned woman would put out, after all there is a thing line between Love N Hate. Keeping all the hurt locked in doesn’t help matters, open up to someone close who cares and then go on out, explore (though not in a daring way), it doesn’t matter if you are 18 going on 48 and it just might be your luck this time but if you still get your heart blown up again, well, you can make money writing a book (a billion ways not to fall in love).

This guest post was written by Kelechi Kemnele of