Guest Post: Undecided Clarity

I started this article with a clear topic in mind, but soon as I typed the first letter, I deviated from the original topic to one of undecided clarity. If you follow my posts, you will know that though I run around for a while, I always find a place to land after-all. Stick with me. Let us see where today’s post goes.

I came across an article in a website yesterday. It was under a section titled: “BITCHINESS IN THE KITCHEN”. Honestly, I thought about copping the same title for my article but decided against it. By the time I am done with this article, I will think up a befitting title for it since I know I will touch on several issues as it relates to the original article I read.

Quick question for you… have you noticed how many more men are becoming domesticated and familiar with a kitchen? And have you also noticed the reduced number of domesticated females who know their way around a kitchen? Answers anyone? Let me guess, yes you have!!  Is it not amazing how the tides have changed? Yes, it is no longer 1950. In fact, it is no longer 1998!! Thinking about it, I experience mixed feelings bothering between relief and sadness. Women are no longer relegated to the back-seat. We are fore-runners now, and that is splendid!!! I have always been a believer in gender equality, but does that make me a feminist? Somehow, I doubt that.

Though I have and would always root for gender equality, I believe there are roles assigned to each gender in a relationship that should not be forfeited. Ever watched “DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES”? I can never live out the part of Lynette and Tom’s lives when he became a “house-husband” and she became the breadwinner. My people would say “mba! O ne me eme!!” (That means “No! It is never done). I am African and somehow, I cannot even start to think of it. A man that stays home??

As I said earlier, I am not a feminist but I do believe in gender equality. I believe a woman should have a job that pays enough to support her husband in supporting the home. I do not intend to run to my husband when I need to buy magi and pepper! I also believe a man should be able to help with some chores around the house. Help change the baby’s diaper, help feed the baby and is it so far-fetched to ask that you assist me in any way you can when I am in the kitchen? Slice the tomatoes? Peel the potatoes? Toss the salad? Is this not a bona-fide way of bonding with each other outside of the bedroom and whatever else you have got going? And please, do not mention a house-keeper here.

The article I read said and I quote: “Men know how to cook, because we have the right incentive to cook…  women are working more and cooking less, and men are working less and cooking more. But let me be clear, we’re cooking because it impresses the hell out of women… This is evolution. Man is adapting in order to get you naked.” Oh man (Pun intended)!!! I know this is a different point from what I made earlier, but as I said earlier, stick with me. Is this point not interesting? It is true though. Using myself as an example, I am absolutely impressed by a guy who can whip up a decent meal. It just shows him in an entirely different light and makes him even more appealing. We cannot help it. It is the way we are. This sort of thing wows us.

However this may be, I choose to focus on the line “women are working more and cooking less, and men are working less and cooking more.” It is disheartening that our core responsibilities are being relegated to the opposite sex. Will women soon donate the sperm and men the eggs? Would women wear tuxedos and the men wear the white dresses? This is madness, I tell you. Some people would think I am ranting and not being realistic, but I am actually being realistic though this truly is a rant which I still do not have a title for. I do not want to make up one morning and find that everything has changed. I do not want my children to be born into the society we are metamorphing into.  A society where the men wear the skirts and watch over the kids while the women smoke the cigars and hang out at the bars late into the night. I respect our core traditional values. I cherish them. I guess this is sort of a plea to all of us. We have so many things going wrong with us as a nation, let us not allow this be joined to the ranks of the thousand ways Nigeria failed.

So, what is my title for this post? Maybe I should go with “UNDECIDED CLARITY” as it does have a nice ring to it. Better still, I think you should title it whatever you deem fit. Form your own opinion, make your own decision.






  1. I was once told that a lady rejected men that woo her just because some of them did not agree with her lifestyle of not cooking at home. She wanted a man that will assure her of a house help that will be doing it. I pity such ladies, because if all men were like me, she would be the last person that would find husband. How can a wife insist on a househelp, where there is all kind of modern equipment that has made life easier.