7 Helpful Tips To Effective Anger Management

More often than not, we find ourselves seething with rage over something we probably could have reacted more calmly or different to and then we begin to feel remorse afterwards. Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it’s important to deal with it in a positive way; it’s when we allow our anger take control over us that it becomes a problem.

Do you want to put your anger in check? Start by considering these 7 anger management tips.

No. 1: Take a timeout

Counting to 10 isn’t just for kids alone – it works for adults as well. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10 or longer. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a breather from the person or source of your anger until you feel calm or in control of emotion again.

No. 2: Once you’re calm, express your anger

As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

No. 3: Get some exercise

Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

No. 4: Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret: words are like milk, once spilled, they can’t be gathered. Therefore, take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

No. 5: Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything, and might only make it worse.

No. 6: Stick with ‘I’ statements

To avoid criticizing or laying blames on others — which might only increase tension — use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you borrowed my textbook and tore off some pages,” instead of, “You are always careless with other people’s property.”

No. 7: Don’t hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.