For Guys: 6 Deadly Dating Mistakes You Must Avoid

Okay, so you’ve met a great girl and you are starting to date. Congrats!

At this point in the dating process, it doesn’t matter so much if you got the date after working up the courage to ask her out, whether it was a setup by friends or whether you just got “lucky” and she agreed to go out with you. What DOES matter is if you commit one or more of the following dating mistakes that men make with women. If you do make these mistakes, your new “relationship” may just be another disastrous dating experience with you left on your own once again.

Mistake #1 – Being Too Nice

You’ll often hear women talking about how their looking for a “nice” guy to date and build a relationship with. Yet, most guys completely misunderstand what a woman is saying when she says “nice guy.” They mistakenly assume that if a woman is looking for a nice guy, then all they need to do to be successful is be REALLY, REALLY nice to her and that will make her like him a whole lot more than other guys. However, that isn’t what women are looking for and that isn’t what women mean by “nice.” After a couple of experiences being REALLY, REALLY nice to women and getting rejected each time, some guys start to think that women must want bad boys or jerks and that the whole “nice guy” thing is a huge, fat lie!

Here’s the thing…

It’s not a lie. Women’s desire for a nice guy is TRUE, but there is a huge difference between a manly, nice guy who guides a woman through a natural, sexual courtship (of which I call The Flow) and a nice guy who is a complete pushover, behaves like he’s not even interested in sex and waits for the woman to make it really obvious that she wants something “more than friends” before he makes a move.

Sure, initially some women can enjoy having a pushover nice guy that she can lead around by his nose (or other parts of his body further to the south) and get him to do whatever she wants. Yet, in reality, a woman want a man who will treat her well and with respect and most importantly, respect himself enough to not allow her to behave in a disrespectful manner towards him. She wants that guy who truly is a powerful man that she can lean on, trust, respect and lust after. She wants to be the one who is always on her toes trying to make sure that she doesn’t lose him. It’s not supposed to be the other way around. It is the you (the man) who is supposed to be “in charge” of a male/female relationship. You are a good guy, but you are ALSO a confident, masculine man…and that is exactly what she’s talking about when she says she wants a “nice guy.”

If you don’t understand that, then you are simply reading into the word “nice” too literally. Being a “nice guy” is not about being a super nice guy; it’s about being the complete package (you’ll learn how to be the “complete package” when you invest in our programs and get the education you need about women, dating, relationships, attraction and being a real man), while ALSO being a good guy.

Mistake #2 – Constantly Seeking Her Approval

Of course when you’re dating a woman, you will occasionally want to get her input on things you do as a couple but, in general, it’s up to the man to steer the dates and the relationship – not the woman. However, too many insecure guys will ask their lady’s “permission” on virtually everything. He’ll ask her where they should go out to dinner, what movie they should see, whether or not she likes what he’s wearing, how his apartment looks, how often they should see each other and so on.

In short, he acts as if she’s his mother and he is constantly seeking her approval.

Wrong!

Mistake #3 – Trying to Buy Her Affection

Sure, occasionally during your long-term relationship you might want to give her a gift on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and so forth. However, if you’re always buying her lavish gifts, taking her away on expensive vacations, going out to only the most exclusive clubs or restaurants or otherwise trying to “buy” her affection, then you are showing how insecure you are. She will pick up on it, wonder why you feel all of this is necessary to keep her attraction and, although she might not tell you (because she’s enjoying the “red carpet treatment” so much), she will be turned off at a deep level.

Money shouldn’t play a major part in your dating life. It doesn’t matter if you have the money and can afford to spend it on her or not. The best “gift” you can give her is being yourself and spending time with her. You should be able to “entertain” her and keep her happy as much with a fun afternoon in the park, watching TV or “fooling around” in the bedroom as she would have getting all dolled up for an expensive night on the town. Heck, my girlfriends are so delighted to be spending time with me that many of them are happy to sit there and watch me play Xbox for hours. Most women HATE when a guy plays computer games in their presence because they feel like the guy is wasting time and not getting out there in the real world to become the best man he can be, but my girls put up with it because they I work very hard. They also know that if they whinge and complain, I can replace them with another girl in a minute, so they are on their best behavior at all times. Additionally, while playing Xbox, all I have to say is, “Coffee” or “Where’s my coffee, baby?” and it will be made for me with a big smile and a kiss.

Remember, YOU are her greatest gift! However, if you show her that you feel as if you need to constantly “buy her affection,” she’s eventually going to realize that she needs a man, not gifts, to make her truly happy. If you don’t value who you are, she won’t either. You are valuable whether you spend a cent/penny on her or not. Don’t waste money and turn women off by making the mistake of trying to buy a woman’s affection. You are her greatest gift.

Mistake #4 – Constant Compliments

Of course when you pick a woman up for a date or watch her walk towards you at the designated meeting place, you’ll likely see how much effort she put into getting ready to be with you. You should tell her how hot she looks and, NO, that doesn’t give her any power. However, if you spend the rest of the date constantly complimenting her on her looks, her intelligence, her wit or any other attribute she has exhibited, you’re only showing how inexperienced you are by giving her all the power. When a woman sees this type of behavior from a man, she usually assumes that he’s giving her so many compliments and is so amazed because she is the first exceptional woman he’s had a chance with.

Sure, everyone likes the occasional, sincere compliment, but if you start spewing them constantly throughout your date, she’s going to feel like there is a huge value discrepancy between you and her and she’s basically doing you a favor by going out with you. When a guy notices that a woman has picked up on this, he then starts to act nervous and feels like he is losing her. It’s a vicious cycle of insecurity and desperation that almost always lead to failure.

Mistake #5 – Asking Permission to Kiss Her

Picture this…you’ve been out on a great date with a beautiful woman. You’ve laughed together, enjoyed each other’s company and had wonderful conversations. Everything is going so well. She may have even leaned against you for a lingering moment or “accidentally” stroked you softly with her hand sometime during your date. Now that the evening is ending, you’re both moving in closer and speaking more quietly and intimately. Yet, instead of taking her into your arms and kissing her, you stop and ask her permission for you to get a kiss! What?!

Not only have you KILLED the mood, but chances are she’s going to see that your reason for asking for a kiss is not so much about you being a “gentleman,” but more about the fact that you are a wuss when it comes to women. You’re a man and you should be able to read her body language. You should KNOW when you should take her hand as you walk, stroke her back when you’re talking, rub your body against hers when dancing or any one of a dozen other ways of showing what a sexual being you are.

This isn’t the 1950s where boys asked girls for permission to give them a goodnight kiss at the doorstep. We’re in the 21st century and women are much more sexual and actually EXPECT that the man they’re dating is going go in for a first kiss and possibly even lead her to the bedroom without first asking her permission. If you don’t know how to escalate to kissing and sex, I recommend you watch Dating Power.

Mistake #6 – Getting Too Serious Before She’s Earned it

You’ve been on a date or two and had a great time. You think about her all the time when you’re apart and you’re sure that you want her as your girlfriend, possibly even for her to be your wife. However, if you’ve only been dating a short time and you blurt out how you’ve already decided that you want to “spend the rest of your life with her,” after only a couple of dates, one of several things is likely to happen. You’re going to scare her off, make a fool of yourself or give her the knowledge that she has you wrapped around her little finger and, again, you’ll show her how insecure you are and that SHE is the one who has the relationship power.

Source: Themodernman.com

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11 Comments

  • Exactly where I think I have gotten it all wrong..she’s been patchy in recent days to the extent of wondering what might have happened..any remedy pls?

  • i’m so overwhelmed by ths piece..in my case i’ve ths particular girl,we’ve bn dating 4 3years& not once has she allowed me kiss her nt 2 talk of sex,she’s alwayz demand 4 money from me..cud it b i’ve shown her 2mch luv @ d initial stage making her behaves ths way, cos we quarrel once abt we havin sex& durin dat tym she confess she’s not a virgin..so i ask why she’s nt allowin me she turn by sayin Is dat why we’re dating? Ths gives me lot of concern cos she always profess 2 me dat she love me& i’m her only guy of which i dont bliv her cos she’s very pretty..any tips 2 help..thanks

  • okay, this is the biggest pieace of shit i’ve ever read.

    1. When a woman says she wants a ‘nice guy’ she’s Asking for a man to treat her with respect, listen, and treat her as an equal. A man shouldn’t be “in charge” of a relationship. responsibility is SHARED by both parties.

    2. It does NOT make a man seem like he’s treating a woman like his mother if he asks her opinion on what they should do for their dates, or about his clothes, apartment ect. Men can be just as self concious as women. and its important to care about your partners opinon when you’re going on a date.

    3. lots of women like to play computer games and be pampered by their man. it makes them feel valued and accepted. Not like they’re being bought.

    4. Most women are happy to land a man who compliments them and makes the feel like they’re princesses. Most men try to act ‘manly’ and not give them enough compliments.

    5. THIS one about asking permission for a kiss being a flaw is an outright LIE. Listen, men, reguardless of what you’ve read in this article, most women will find the fact that you asked permission to kiss her to be a sign that you value her and want to respect her sense of self. It’s better to be a gentleman than to spring a kiss on an unsuspecting woman who may not have felt it appropriate. And you should deffinatly NOT be grinding against her to show what a sexual being you are. it comes off as you trying to pressure her into being sexual with you. Again, which she may not be ready for or accept. women value their personal space.

    And 6, while it’s true women don’t neccisarily want a commitment TOO early in the relationship, there is nothing wrong with letting a woman know how you feel about her, so long as you don’t come off as desprate or needy.

    Men should not ask for advice on women from other men. especially men over the internet. they should be asking a WOMAN. only women know what women want. women do not secretly want domination. they want someone who treats them as their equal.

  • hmmm this is interesting….I think there should be a debate pannel btw Themodernman and Xilex90 -For and Against lol
    birds of different feathers……lol

  • I never knew the meaning of the word “LIES” until I read this post.what a page full of garbage..If this are the principles you apply for ur woman,then am sorry to say they are all retards”

  • lol@ ‘Additionally, while playing Xbox, all I have to say is, “Coffee” or “Where’s my coffee, baby?” and it will be made for me with a big smile and a kiss. Remember, YOU are her greatest gift!’

    Really? You’re not just her greatest gift, you are the greatest gift to all mankind. What rubbish! Seriously wonder the kinda girls you date, prolly the insecure ones.

  • This piece is pretty funny,you have only succeded in proving how insecured you feel around ladies,you subject them to a particular position inorder to feel like a man.Keep ur marriage bed pure so the bible says,21st century my foot Gods standard never changes,he said no fornication ,no adultery,if you must marry 1Cor 7:1-2

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