[Opinion] Colour Blocking Or Colour Blockheads?

By Dolapo Ajala

Enter- It all started sometime around the beginning of this year, when my eyes began to be assaulted with all sorts of obnoxious colour riots. Beginning from the Church, I saw all sorts of weird colour combination and I’m wondering aloud “Is today colour rag Sunday or something?” and then an alluring feminine voice replies “No its not rag Sunday, it’s called colour blocking my dear” and I say to her “This doesn’t make sense!”a bit irritated she replies “You can’t say that, what do you know about fashion?” “Oh this is now fashion..? fashion and madness would sooner than later coincide” I say to myself, ending the conversation with a wry smile, after which I try not to be irritated by the myriad of ‘colour blockers’ that assailed the Church that Sunday and simply concentrate on GOD!

This was the beginning of many encounters with ‘colour blockers’ as I often saw them at parties, events, weddings etc. I remember seeing a lady wearing green dress, blue shoes, red belt, and pink accessories with a gold clutch bag. Another one wore turquoise pants, bright stripped green shirt, a brown belt, yellow shoes, bright red accessories and a black bag and I’m like Jeez! “Some ladies really miss their kindergarten days” even lil Suri Cruise would do a better job. Well! I tried to put myself in check because my mouth could just run at times “Utter nothing” I told myself “its colour blocking, it’s the new fashion so just shhhh”

And then as time went on, the unimaginable began to happen- Men who are supposed to teach women sobriety joined the colour blocking trend. “You’ve got to be kidding me” I said aloud to the hearing of my friend as I saw a man walk into Church wearing an orange shirt, yellow tie, checkered pink blazer, green pocket handkerchief, milk chinos pants, blue socks and a black shoe. I looked the guy over again to be sure there wasn’t some voodoo effect on my eyes. My friend who is an artist quipped ‘This is colour sacrilege!” and as a lover of the arts myself and one who understands that colours should be subtly and sweetly contrasted, I concurred. Another guy in our row also said “If you ask me I think that’s colour rascality!” “Ah thank God! There is still a remnant of some sane people in the house” I said to myself upon hearing those descriptions. Later on that day we saw another guy in a stripped yellow and black pants, blue shirt, lemon suit/blazer or whatever the heck that stuff he wore on the shirt was, orange socks, a red and black sneakers. And all I could just do was just nod in disgust. “Some of these folks should try wearing this combo to work someday and they will surely come to terms with the meaning of a permanent vacation” my friend whispered, and I laughed.

My eyes almost just shut down recently on the plane when a young girl walked in decked in the most outrageous colour showdown of the century, her make-up also screamed in an eerie fashion. She looked like a kindergarten piece of art- if you know what I mean! And this time there was no stopping me at all- I just burst into unrestrained laughter; the eyes of others around also caught this colour blocker as they too joined in the laughter in what later became a feverish festival of laughter at the lunacy of colour blocking. One man with a strong Ibo accent let his mouth run “But na which one be this style na?” he asked, “oga dem say na colour blocking o!” someone replied. And almost throughout the 45mins flight everyone pitched into the colour blocking debate. No need to bore you with all that went on, but at least it became clear to me that there were many other people who were thinking just like me.

One theory I gleaned from the pro colour blockers is that many accessories and clothing just sit in their wardrobe for ages since at times it might be difficult to find other materials that blend. So the idea is instead of just letting such accessories and clothing sit in the wardrobe, why not just block them? And then I asked “why buy colours you know you have no blending colours for?” And then I’m told that not everyone goes out of their way to buy riotous colours for blocking, many of such blocking materials are gifts. My advice?-If you are business inclined- sell or auction out such stuff, if you are a Father Christmas- give or gift it out and keep your sanity!.

Because in the final analysis, there is no such thing as “colour blocking” only “colour blockheads”, “colour rascals” and “colour comedians”. Now you can take that to the Banks!

Dolapo Ajala Writes From Abuja.