I dated Charles for a few years before I proposed to him to marry me, else I would leave.
He was getting too comfortable with just dating me because marriage wasn’t really on his mind. You know, he hasn’t been lucky in that department.
During my first visit to Nigeria, I met his wonderful family and it was clear he was coming from a very strict Christian background.
His family was a very spiritual one with high sense of morality and values, there was no way some of that wouldn’t have robbed off on Charles. I just fell in love with him and his close nit family. Since then, they have been ever so kind and loving to me.
I just thank God.
What was the thing that attracted you to him when you first met him?
People say there is a whole lot of difference between courting and marriage; did you experience that in yours?
His uniqueness of course, and the fact that he is a gentle man, very sensitive, passionate, loving and a giving person. I must also add intriguing and adventurous because that was the first thing I noticed about him.
If people are saying that, then they are sure right. There is a big difference between courting and marriage. As boyfriend and girlfriend, you don’t have much responsibilities, you stay just focused on each other.
After marriage comes a lot of responsibilities, children, in-laws, income, bills and a lot more. Marriage is a time to take charge and be serious, it is no longer a play thing. But if you have managed to be friends during courtship years, it makes the journey a bit easy. Courtship is playful, marriage is serious business. That is just the simple truth.
Has your trust for him ever wobbled, like maybe he is unfaithful?
As entertainers at the early stages, it wasn’t easy but as time passed by I began to see things for what they really are. Because we are always in the limelight, we attract all sorts of people, but experience will always teach us how to deal with things. Charles is not lacking in that area. Well, my trust for him may have wobbled in our first few years but I have long since figured out where his mind, soul and head is and I am comfortable with that knowledge.
Have you ever feared he will leave you considering his history?
I have been most lucky in all of this, considering that I am coming from miles away, no brothers, no sisters, no family, except the Oputas and my friend Charles who sometimes fills in as a the brother I never had. Yes, it could be scary sometimes, but for some reasons those thoughts never took over my mind.
You have been together for thirty-six years, is there any secret behind this bond?
Charles is my best friend, our friendship came before marriage. I sure don’t have all the answers. What even works for me may not work for you, but what I do know is that, we are two individuals determined to make our relationship work. We talk a lot in our marriage, Charles is the first to say sorry when he goofs. He is so sensitive when it comes to my feelings, but above all, I think we are just two very good friends who have refused to grow up and who have sworn to watch out for one another.
Be sincere, have you ever woken up and felt you were done with the whole thing? Don’t you get tired and bored sometimes?
Being fulfilled in one’s marriage is guaranteed when your spouse is supportive, understanding, and sensitive to your feeling, always looking for creative ways to keep the spark in the marriage. I will just say that I am lucky and I thank God for that. No regrets.
Is there still romance in your relationship? Does your husband still look at you the way he did thirty six years ago?
Charles is an unrepentant romantic person, even though he hides that part of himself from public. He knows that I love romance and often makes the plan for such rendezvous. Being married for over three decades can become boring if you don’t work at it. We sure work at it because for us, this is it. That is why we try to keep it as youthful and fresh as we can. It is not easy but we are determined.
Has anything changed in the last thirty-six years?
Life is always changing, nothing stays the same. We inspire growth in our relationship. He is like a fine wine, tasteful with age.