Ask Jay: Dear Jay, He Stares At Other Women! What Should I Do?!


Dear Jay,

My husband always stares at women each time he is driving, even if I am in the car. It irritates me and makes me feel inferior! I have tried talking to him about it, against my better judgment, even though it makes me feel bad that I am actually jealous. He denies it, but continues to do it! Please help me. It’s affecting my self-confidence.


Dear P.U,

I can really feel your pain. One of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a woman is for a man to stare at other women while by her side. Also, there’s nothing wrong with you confronting your husband about this behaviour. You belong to each other so it was the right thing to do.

As for your husband, let’s give him the benefit of doubt. You said he denies it. Have you ever called his attention to it while in the act? It might actually be an unconscious reaction that he’s not aware of. Men are physical beings and even the best of them get carried away sometimes. If it’s a conscious act, however, then sit him down and explain in detail how his behaviour makes you feel. If he still doesn’t change after that, then it’s time for you to start ignoring him.

I know this sounds terrible and if you had told me he was your boyfriend, I would tell you to leave him if he doesn’t change, but this is your husband. You’ve sworn to be with him forever. For the sake of your own peace of mind, please try your best to ignore him. When you’re in the car together, read a magazine or keep yourself busy somehow so you don’t have to look at his face. You’re going to be with this man for the rest of your life, you might as well live in peace.

As for your confidence, sweetheart, it’s entirely up to you. Don’t let anyone dictate how you should feel about yourself. Halle Berry was voted the sexiest woman on earth, yet her husband cheated on her. Does it make her any less sexy? No, it just means she had a dumb husband.

Don’t let anything he does take away your confidence. You’re a star and nothing can change that. He knows this and that was why he married you.

I really hope this was helpful. I wish you the very best.



If you have a dilemma and you’d like to share, send an email to ‘Jola Sotubo at [email protected]