Ask Jay: I Dated Him Even Though He Had a Girlfriend and Now He’s ignoring Me. What Should I Do?!

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Dear Jay,

I got to know a guy and for 2yrs we just communicated as friends because I wasn’t in Lagos then. When I graduated and came back to Lagos, we started a relationship, though he told me he had a girlfriend but the relationship was heading nowhere. I fell for him and ignored his relationship. Everything went smoothly for a month until his mum came back from abroad and I started seeing less of him and he wouldn’t pick my calls.

I gave him some time and after that we became a normal couple again. However, after a few weeks, he just stopped calling and he wouldn’t pick my calls or reply my texts. I asked around about him and his friends say that there’s nothing wrong with him and that they’ve been seeing him around.  He didn’t tell me I did anything wrong so I don’t understand his behaviour. I’m so in love with him and I’m heartbroken!  What do I do?

E.G

Dear E.G,

It could be very embarrassing when a woman finds herself in the position where she’s chasing a man and not the other way around. I’m not here to judge you but I must tell you the truth; the most common lie men tell when they want to cheat on their girlfriends or wives, is that the relationship or marriage is not working well and that they’ll soon abandon it. From all you’ve said, I suspect that this is the case with the man in question.

In my opinion, there was nothing wrong with his previous relationship. It’s very likely that his girlfriend (or wife even) was not around during the period you were together so he decided to cash in on it. I might be wrong but whatever the case, his ignoring your calls and avoiding you is very improper behaviour and you deserve better than that. I suggest that you find the strength to get over him and move on. I assure you that there’s so much better waiting in store for you. You will definitely find a man who will treat you right. I wish you the very best.

Sincerely,

Jay…

If you have a dilemma and you’d like to share, send an email to ‘Jola Sotubo on askjay@informationnigeria.org.

5 COMMENTS

  1. My only advice i have for you is that i know your pains just look for a federal road around your area and hug a trailer look for the one that is on like 120 kilometer oh speed…that your guy will die in penury and pains….when you accept his proposal did you seek for our advice now things are rough you are seeking for advice…abi?when you people where going for shopping going to the most expensive eatery unor find us wen una de mak love 2morrow if you have any misunderstanding with your fierce you settle it amicably ok…….na u de find advise na

  2. My only advice i have for you is that i know your pains just look for a federal road around your area and hug a trailer look for the one that is on like 120 kilometer oh speed…that your guy will die in penury and pains….when you accept his proposal did you seek for our advice now things are rough you are seeking for advice…abi?when you people where going for shopping going to the most expensive eatery unor find us wen una de mak love 2morrow if you have any misunderstanding with your fierce you settle it amicably ok…….na u de find advise na

  3. D greatest mistake or sin one can make is to fall in love wth sum one who is nt equally in luv wth u. Ur mistake is, u r carried away witout actually wheighing d other relationship. Am sure u regretting nt just b/cos u r loosing d guy bt b/cos u gave sex to get love. Tht guy is a cheat, tht guy does nt luv u. Pls learnt frm ur mistake & push forward. Though, experience is a gud teacher.

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