Ask Jay: I Either Marry Her or Lose My Job! What Should I Do?!


Dear Jay,

I am in my early thirties and I have a girl I hope to settle down with. However, there is this other girl in my office who is a close relative of my Managing Director and she insists on being my wife despite knowing that I’m engaged. My MD is aware and in full support of her action. My Job is on d line.I need your advice.


Dear A.S,

I can only imagine your dilemma. You’re faced with either the option of losing the one you love or losing your means of livelihood. However, let’s put aside the issue of your fiancée for now because there’s much more at stake here.

If you succumb to the pressure to marry your boss’ relative, it means that you would have succumbed to being blackmailed for the rest of your life. That woman will be in charge of your life for as long as you work for her relative. She will use your fear of losing your job against you and she will use it to control you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life as a prisoner?

The most important thing a man has is his dignity and his pride and if you sell that, then you have nothing. I know that doing what’s right in this circumstance will be difficult but you have to do it anyway and hope for the best. I’m sure things will work out better than you imagine. Just have faith. I wish you the very best.



If you have a dilemma and you’d like to share, send an email to ‘Jola Sotubo at [email protected]


  1. /sheyi, wat do u mean by follow ur hrt? If he wants to follow his hrt he wldnt av asked for advice, pls if u dont know wat to tell d young man, just read tru, shut up n get out. U dont know how to talk. My advice is dat the youngman shld resign with immediate effect n start looking for job elsewhere, involve God, close all ways in which d lady will wanna use to reach u. And u will live ur life happily with d woman u luv, u must never allow urself to b blackmailed into getting married, its sth u will live to always regret n will not forgive urself. Is d job worth ur happiness? Is it d only job in d world? There is no cause for alarm, u are a man, u shld do d right thing pls for ur own sake.

  2. My dear broda,i knw it may b dificult 4 u hear especialy in dis jobles country,but pls quit dat job imediately,turn 2 God he wil make a way 4 u,or else u wil bcom a slave 4 d rest of ur life.

  3. my guy sit your fiancy down, tell her all this and that you want to quit the job because of the love you have for her and that if she will be able to bear with you interms of joblessness that your ready to quit the job an put your hope in GOD just because of her,but if she will not be able to bear with you let her tell you so that you will know what to do.that all my guy.

  4. Let ur fiancee knws wht u r facin, seek her advice first b4 u quit. If she can’nt cope wit ur joblessness. So, u may go ahead wit any oda step. Gud luk


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