Ask Jay: She Wants to Get Married But I’m Not Ready! What Should I Do?!

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bride with chain

Dear Jay,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for one year and I love her very much. She recently informed me that it’s either I marry her next year or she leaves. I’m a young man and I’m just trying to get my feet on the ground. I’m not ready for marriage but I don’t want to lose her. What should I do?


Dear J.O,

I’m really sorry about your dilemma. It must be heart breaking to be faced with such a choice.

As much as I don’t support your girlfriend’s methods, I understand her predicament. The pressure young ladies are under to get married is unimaginable. I suggest, first of all, that you consider making a compromise; find a middle point that you both agree upon.

If however, she doesn’t reconsider, then as painful as it will be for you, I suggest you leave her alone. Marriage is a big decision and a lifetime commitment; nobody should be forced into it. Also, if she really loves you, she’ll stay and if she really wants to go, nothing you do will make her change her mind.

Take heart, there’s always something better in store. I wish you the very best.



If you have a dilemma and you’d like to share, send an email to ‘Jola Sotubo on [email protected]


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