Bollywood Star Jian Khan”s Suicide Letter To Boyfriend Seconds Before Death

Khan committed suicide by hanging herself from a ceiling fan at around 11:45pm in a bedroom of her Juhu residence in Mumbai on the Monday, June 3, 2013.


Her body was taken to the casualty morgue of the Dr R.N. Cooper Hospital in Vile Parle. Police later sent the body to the JJ Hospital in Byculla, for a forensic examination and autopsy.

Her body was brought back to her residence around 7am on Wednesday, June 5, 2013, following the Post-mortem.

In the same day her Namaz-e-janaza took place at Sonapur Kabar Walla Masjid and she was buried at Juhu Muslim cemetery after Zohar prayer as per Islamic rites.

Bollywood actors in attendance included Aamir Khan, Kiran Rao, Riteish Deshmukh, Siddharth Mallya, Sophie Choudry, Urvashi Dholakia, Prem Chopra, Ranjeet, Deepak Parashar, Sanjay Khan and Naghma in attendance.

Bollywood stars reacted with shock at her death. On June 7, 2013, a 6 page suicide note was found by her sister. The note is reported to indicate that she had planned to end her life. Below given is a transcript of Jiah’s handwritten letter. These are scanned snapshots of the original letter as released by Khan’s family.

“ I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.

These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul.

I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore. When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this.

I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else.

I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects their family.

You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment.

You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something. The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back.

When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this.

I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this”

On June 8, 2013 Khan’s Condolence meeting was held at Vile Parle Medical Club to pray Jiah. Bollywood actors in attendance included Aamir Khan, Deepika Padukone, Randhir Kapoor, Prateik Babbar, Sanjay Kapoor, Shweta Pandit, Kiran Rao, Urvashi Dholakia, Ranjeet, Deepak Parashar, Sanjay Khan and Naghma.

Source: Wiki


  1. Killing yourself over som1 that doesn’t appreciate you is your biggest mistake! Sadly you will never be able to make things right bcos you are dead now, I feel so sorry for you and I shed a tear for you, but you have finally given him the last laugh by your actions! Only God can love you unconditionally, killing urself was just too weak an action to take, rest in peace jian!

  2. So disheartening, what a vilian man. But u shouldn’t have killed ur self b/c dat man wasn’t a right person for u dat was why he couldn’t resprocate ur love back to u. Pls let no one kill him or her self b/c someone u love does not love u. Have patient and wait 4 d one dat loves u is out dere for u. May soul rest in peace.

  3. So disheartening, what a vilian man. But u shouldn’t have killed ur self b/c dat man wasn’t a right person for u dat was why he couldn’t resprocate ur love back to u. May soul rest in peace.

  4. So disheartening, what a vilian man. But u shouldn’t have killed ur self b/c dat man wasn’t a right person for u dat was why he couldn’t resprocate ur love back to u. May her soul rest in peace.

  5. It really is a sad story and the letter heartbreaking, but is it good judgement or worth it to die for unrequited love? Remember that a man cannot give life to himself and therefore has no right to take it. We shall all be judged for what we do in the hereafter.

  6. Very sad story,the worst part of it is that no secound chance for her, to all boys and girls out there if you are in this type of situation talk to people about it, take a bold step walk out of such relatoinship,there is life somewhere for you!!!,look you will be loved by someone else, dont be blindfolded by love of selfish desires

  7. There is no reason for u to kill yourself over a man at all! And to even think you are 25years old while he is just 22, you shud realise small boy still dey worry him, as long as there is life there is always hope but you have taken away your hope by killin yourself and also made your whole family sad! You should appologise from whereever you are bcos u were selfish.

  8. Very sad note dear, bt y killing your self because of LOVE… As he didn’t respect u and ur life do u think he will respect or feel any remorse of ur action? What u did is a big sin. And for u the boy friend. God will bring some one that will treat u worth than the way u treat her.

  9. She did not look inwards. And she probably did not love herself. The first step to love is love of self. And if she’d turned to her siblings and parents for comfort and consolation, she would have ended up happier and alive.

  10. SAD! girls just love loving the wrong bad guys who won’t love them back, all said, you have no right to take your life cos it does not belong to you in the 1st place….no body should!

  11. my heart is bleeding and broken after reading her suicide note,but that is not enough reason for her to end her life.The idiot that caused her to die is still enjoying wake up and move ahead in case ????????????

  12. Foolishly sentimental and absurdly temperamental. In most African cultures she shouldn’t have a dignified burial after commiting suicide. Hey look closely at d photo, she appears to have an embarrasing terminal disease which might have made her to commit suicide. Checkout her neckline and d chest area

  13. She killed her self because she had lost her pride and as things are looking she’s completely sure the guy wont marry her. I watch bollywood movies alot once a responbile lady loses her virginity by rape her next action is sucide and i think the people around the victims didnt show them love when they needed it. I feel pity for her because she know cos if she know she wouldnt have taken her life, she should asked for forgiveness and God’s love in her life am sure everything will work out for. The guys that toy with the lady’s hearts it high time u stop such activites and save a soul. ;-(;-( INDIAN HELP UR FEMALES D ARE WEAK N NÉÉD HELP.

  14. This is not an example of the desirable happy ending life event , the whole of this story touches on aspects of assertiveness ,life-value-orientation and priority setting ,if she had put the strenght expended on suicide note writing into being assertive that her life is her life for keep because of the premium value attached to it ,she ‘ll probably around today,abject ignorance of this and other essentials had proved fatal in fetching her this avoidable self imposed irrational sensational course of paying the ultimate price for what is ordinarilly not worth dying for .