Here are 21 things you need to know about dating:
1. Dating is not for having sex, using people, numbing your pain or dealing with loneliness.
2. Dating is not for having multiple sex partners or test driving sex to determine if the sex is good enough before we marry someone.
3. Dating is for getting to know people and establishing an acquaintance-level friendship with the possibility of deeper friendship.
4. If you remove the sex and do not rush into physical and emotional relationships you will get to know people in healthy ways.
5. Dating may or may not lead to marriage or courtship.
6. Dating is usually a result of physical attraction and not spiritual attributes.
7. In dating, people usually seek out people for direction or an answer about the person they are considering.
8. If you don’t take your time with your dating approach, you increase your chances of being hurt and becoming bitter because of your pain.
9. Dating is often motivated by lust, loneliness, and emotional decision making. We need more people who approach dating in healthy ways and not from the standpoint of numbing pain or selfish reasons.
10. Being happy alone is the prerequisite to having a happy relationship.
11. Dating can cause a lot of hurt. Thus, we must place a premium on becoming friends, and not having sex. We can’t allow our emotions to rule our decision making or allow selfishness to cause us to rush into relationships we are not ready for.
12. After dating for a while and establishing a true friendship based on common values and character, you can move into a deeper relationship known as “courtship.”
13. Courtship has the goal of marriage. Dating may or may not have marriage as the goal.
14. Dating is not the problem. The people doing the dating are the problem.
15. Dating will not hurt you if you do it the right way.
16. Don’t date if you can’t be happy alone or are seeking dating to numb deeper emotional wounds.
17. Dating will have you thinking the sex you are having is love when it’s really lust. This is caused by how you date, lack of maturity, and how you approach dating.
18. Dating with selfish goals is wrong and will lead to you being hurt, disappointed, bitter and delusional about love.
19. Dating should be seen as something safe, not something that is risky. However, if we don’t apply boundaries it can become unsafe for our hearts. Please focus on safe and pure friendships during the dating process.
20. Even when dating does not lead to marriage, we should leave the situation knowing more about ourselves and who we are. It should not be just another disappointment or sex partner added to the belt.
21. Dating can help develop and improve your relationship skills.