Online Dating After Divorce:16 Tips To Make It Less Stressfull


Let’s face it: Online dating after divorce can be scary. From deceiving profile photos (your junior year in college was forever ago, people!) to cliché personal essays that tell you next to nothing, there are countless reasons to throw in the towel —before even signing up.

  1. “Don’t give out personal info. My system was to spend at least a week or two chatting before giving my phone number — then a week of phone conversation before meeting. Meet publicly and tell someone where you are going. But most of all, remember, it’s just a date and there are lots more out there. Tell yourself ‘next’ if it’s not right.”
  2. “Be honest and realize that others won’t. No expectations. Don’t meet strangers alone. Utilize the 6 degrees of separation: if you can’t find any common acquaintances, be VERY cautious.”
  3. “Online dating allows people to fantasize, create expectations and be very lazy. Meet as soon as possible then you are not wasting time exchanging weeks of personal information, only to meet and discover you don’t have a connection.”
  4. “Stop thinking that internet dating is just for losers.”
  5. “Take it very slowly. Even after you meet, even after he checks out, even after you hit it off, even if this is the perfect mate — if this person is that perfect for you, the bond will grow.”
  6. “Stay off of any sites that promote new love within a certain amount of time. Nobody can predict how long it will take to get back in the saddle again!”
  7. “Don’t go into it looking for your next spouse, have fun DATING. Make it known upfront before meeting if it will be dutch — don’t go assuming your date is paying. Some sites have separate numbers/emails to use so you don’t have to give out your personal info — pay for it, it is worth your safety.”
  8. “Meet as soon as possible. Don’t view the initial meeting as a date. Make it short. Make it public. Set expectations correctly and make it clear to the prospect that the initial meeting is not a date. If the initial meeting is favorable, then it might be ok to start investing some time and energy into getting to know each other.”
  9. “Optimize your online presence. Put your best photos and most interesting essay out there. Don’t take things personally until you are in an actual relationship. Put real effort into online dating. Broaden your end goal. If you only date to find the love of your life, you’ll probably be disappointed most of the time. If you’re open to making a new friend, a business contact, or just enjoy a few hours of conversation with someone new, you’ll enjoy the process so much more.”
  10. “Get to know each other really well on the phone first. We talked for three weeks before meeting in person and really liked each other by the time we met. And meet in a public place, but that obvious!”
  11. “There is great hope but you can’t take the process too seriously. Do not expect to fall in love on the first date. The most important thing is having a sense of humor and being able to laugh at the lunacy when it surfaces. It takes time to get to know a perfect stranger.”
  12. “Have a safety friend. I give mine the man’s name and phone number, place of employment if I know it. I tell her the time and place and that she is to text me a half hour in to check on me. I always make them come to place in my part of town and go to one or two places where I know people on staff. I haven’t had a bad experience yet.”
  13. “Check out the dates on the pics. I find it suspicious when they are more than a few months old. And meet right away, don’t linger. A physical connection is not the same as an emotional one online. If it’s not going to click, better find out sooner than after when you’re emotionally invested.”
  14. Have thick skin! And be ready to start a blog about your experiences.
  15. “Your profile pic should not be in the bathroom mirror or in your car (men, note this! LOL) and you should be fully clothed unless you are not looking for a serious relationship.”
  16. Meet for coffee first…..”



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