A colleague of mine though in another department wants to have a serious relationship with me that will lead to marriage. And I like him and would want to be with him. But he told me he had something to do with another colleague of mine and because of that he didn’t have the courage to ask me out till now. They were together for about 2 years, but the relationship did not work out because of religious differences; she is a Jehovah Witness and he is not. And he wasn’t ready to become one, so he had to walk away and they both are in good terms. I’m kind of worried because she is my immediate colleague; we share the same office, eat together, play together and do a lot together although she has never told me she once dated him. Should I give him my consent? I’m afraid it will cause problems between my friend and I if she finds out. And I wouldn’t want such an atmosphere in my office. Please what do you advise?
Dear A ,
I think you have to be careful with the way you handle this issue to avoid enmity with your friend. Really, your friend would not be happy with you if you date this guy because she has once dated him…she might say its no problem, but since she has dated him before, there would still be an iota of feelings for him because its not like he hurt her or did something bad to her….its just of their religious differences. She might even be waiting for him to make up his mind about her, she might not be over him yet. Who knows? I think you should just tell your friend that this guy asked you out and you are thinking of what to give him as the response. …she should be able to tell you her mind, if she still likes him or not. If she still does not let you know that she dated him, then I think you can go along to date the guy if you really want to. Personally, I don’t think I would date my friend’s ex anyway, but it is still bout your own decision here….if you feel you really like to date him.
All the best,