In an article entitled ‘Poor service,’ I stated, “My girlfriend was fond of chewing gum and watching television during séx. No matter how much action was going on, she always looked relaxed as she changed channels.” The comments from readers were very interesting and an eye opener into Nigerians’ séxual activities.
Many people complained about being unable to satisfy their female partners and, indeed, I had a few requests for consultation on matters related to séxuality.
The next article, ‘How good are Nigerian men in béd?’ published two weeks ago, also generated much feedback. We got some interesting email replies. This is the synthesis of the emails and discussions generated on the article. It was such a hot topic that we have to do it again! It feels like great séx! So, here, for your Monday morning enjoyment, is the second round.
Replies from men
Muili Amidu was the first respondent and he made very smart comments. He said the issues of rap, divorce, adultéry, etc., as discussed in the article were beyond the strength of a man or his method of approach to séx. He surmised that séxually perverse behaviours were more of a result of an individual’s moral values (or lack of it), upbringing, social status, religious beliefs and societal values. He felt that séxually insatiable people — whether married or single — would still look elsewhere. Further, he argued that rape was more of a collapse of moral values in every society, and also exists in communities where holiness is most expected. Donmaxy and77Akemini both agreed with his points.
Celtics1 was very mischievous with his comments and presented a score chart of the tribes in order of which can best satisfy the Nigerian woman. He placed the Hausa man first and the Yoruba man last in his order of merit. In the same vein, Hammerhouseofhorrors wondered about “multi-tribal” men and if they would be super good in béd. Uche Dike asked Celtics1 to leave tribalism out of the discussion, as it was irrelevant to the question.
However, it is, perhaps, not for a man to say. Women may be the best to determine this, through appropriate research. And such research would have to be conducted in a prospective double blinded randomised clinical manner. I think we might need about 10 men from each tribe and the same number of women. What do statisticians think?
Replies from women
Aiyekoto was impressed by the thoroughness of the report. She felt it had spoken the mind of women and wished many husbands would read the article and learn from it. Juicy Fruit offered that women now have alternatives and could satisfy themselves without men. She said,rather ominously, that women could pretend all is well simply so they can have babies. Of course, this comment drew the ire of a few people such as Trey, who felt they were studs and up to the job.
The Ice Princess commented that Nigerian men found it hard to be romantic. She said ‘they generally don’t believe in wooing a woman with scented candles, candle-lit dinners, roses and romantic picnics. She felt that men think this is all cliché and perhaps unnecessary.
Eneboy replied that he once offered a lady a rose (flower) but the lady complained that she would have preferred recharge card instead. Mack Anthony concurred and said that Nigerian women probably feel that smart phones, shopping for clothes and hand bags are romantic gestures.
Omoibile felt that women who made comments about the article were more sensible and more sophisticated than the men! She said, ‘Our brothers will eventually catch up; some of them, anyway.”
She said further that women should let the men know they ought to take the lead and to ensure their partners achieve good lubrication. Keep it slow and straightforward (KíSS). This slow pace might not work forAnonymous who asked, ‘What do you do to last a good while when making love?’ I hear women calling some men ‘one-minute-men.’ Sandra replied that a ‘one- minute-man is not a man. ‘That is injection, not lovemaking,’ she lamented.
Following this, Oloshi appeared to blame the women for time wasting, leading the men to have premature éjaculation.
SayingDtruth wondered if the article was going to help the Nigerian economy, to which Valerie replied that if a person is not satisfied or happy with his or her home, they cannot impact positively on the community. Others agreed that a happy home would lead to improved national economy. Sheryph Apena confirmed in particular, that what we do outside most of the time, are consequences of what happens in our homes. In other words, micro-economics makes macro-economics.
Nadeco said some people might be doing things ignorantly and not deliberately. Some ladies may be too shy to discuss such issues with their husbands. Some may be pretending so that the husbands will not think they are insatiable.
The truth, of course, is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. What we see and what we want are so very different.
The people in the best relationships — those who are doing a great job in béd — are people who take time to find out what their partners want, and then put their own selfish interests aside to satisfy their partners. Done in a mutually beneficial way, this often leads to great séx.
Perhaps one research I will do in future is to talk to men about how good Nigerian women are in béd.