One of the greatest challenges to a committed relationship is when one partner goes outside the marriage to look for a connection, either physical and emotional.
When people find out about infidelity, they often make all kinds of assumptions about how and why people have affairs. We live in a hush-hush culture — when it comes to infidelity, there’s a lot of reasons out there — and most of what you think is true just isn’t. Here are the 5 most common misconceptions about infidelity, and the real take on what you need to know
1. Most People Who Have Affairs Are Unhappy In Their Marriage
In surveys that asked people who had affairs whether they wanted to leave their marriages, most said they’d rather stay put. Fifty-six percent of men and 34% of women still thought their marriages were pretty good. (Yeah, I know that that 34% doesn’t seem that good, but, on the other hand, in all marriages, more women are more likely to be unhappy than men — but that’s another article)
2. Infidelity Is Never About Sex; It’s About Other Marital Issues
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes extramarital “sex” is just about sex. For sure, some affairs are just about unmet emotional needs, but for some people — not the majority — an affair is just about going out and getting laid!!!
3. You Can’t Call It Cheating If Sex Wasn’t Involved
Many affairs happen without any sex at all. Is staying up half the night, secretly texting an old classmate about your most intimate thoughts being unfaithful? The person doing it may not see it as cheating, but you can bet your partner sees it this way. When you give an emotional part of yourself to someone with whom you could potentially cheat one day, it’s cheating.
4. After An Affair, Kiss Your Marriage Goodbye
Not so quick! Over half of marriages survive infidelity. Although the relationship may break up from other issues in the future, when couples are willing to work together, they’re surprised to find they can rebuild the trust. The most common reasons for marriage dissolution, 53-55%, is “growing apart” and not being able to talk to each other.
5. Affairs Happen With People Much Younger Or More Attractive
Not necessarily! Think of some men who have affair with their unkempt housekeepers. You know what I mean.
True facts.