People in the western countries are at their wit’s end when it comes to comprehending the rationale behind arranged marriage system. What baffles them most is the success rate that it enjoys. But, there is a lot more to this traditional system of arranging matches than what meets the eyes. So, here are 10 most important things that you need to know, or think about, while going for an arranged marriage.
1) Right age
Love knows no age, but in order to make a good match through arranged marriage, it is imperative to keep the age in consideration. The preferable age for girls is around 25 or 26 and for guys no later than 30.
2) Self assessment
Take a pen and paper and list down all the things that you expect in your spouse. Think about how your partner should be be and what level of compatibility do you desire. You need to keep an open mind over certain compromises that you might have to make.
3) Decent expectations
Expectations in an arranged marriage tend to run high. But remember, with higher expectations you might face greater disappointments. At the end of the day, it is not necessary that all the virtues that you desire can be found in one person.
4) Economic compatibility
While opting for an arranged marriage take everything in account. It is best to strive for utmost compatibility even in terms of economic standing of both the families. In fact, for many parents it is a way of ensuring financial security for the bride.
5) Beauty and looks
Arranged marriage is about suitability and compatibility. Beauty can easily take a back seat. Your partner need not be as dashing as Tom Cruise or as stunning as Kate Winslet. Looks are important, but not the most important thing.
Now, this is the million dollar question: how can you understand a person in just one or two meetings? At times, even a lifetime seems too less to truly understand someone. It is best to share your feelings about the person with someone you are close to, maybe your friends or siblings.
7) Observe etiquettes
Yes, there are certain set codes of conduct that the society at large expects you to follow. For example, do sufficient background research about the person before consenting to meet. Answering in negation after metting twice or thrice may be detrimental to the other person’s self confidence.
8) Take advice
Feel free to take advice from those who you feel will be able to guide you in the best possible way. Do not make any elaborate show of your feelings, until and unless you are sure of the response from the other side as well. During the initial stages it is best to tread the new path as carefully as possible, after all it is the biggest decision of your life.
Arranged marriages are based on commitment and it is the most necessary element that keeps a relationship going. So, express your feelings aloud only when you are sure about your commitment level towards that other person. Also, you need to be sure that the other person is as much committed towards this match as you are.
10) Final decision
Do not just marry a girl or a guy just because your parents or friends asked you to. It has to be your own decision. You alone, will be responsible and will have to bear the consequences, for whatever happens in your life life.
Now you know that there is a lot more to these arranged marriages than what meets the eyes. Whether it is an arranged marriage or love, every union should be based on few key principles of commitment, trust and love. So, go ahead and fall in love!