[Advice Needed] I Allowed My Husband To Sleep With Another Woman And I Regret It. Please Help!

Paul and I have had those talks that so many couples do about who our free pass would be. Mine is Charlie Hunnam and we’ve joked about it when we watch Sons of Anarchy. (I can’t wait for Fifty Shades of Grey movie!) Paul’s free pass was Jennifer Lopez until one day when we were playfully discussing these celebrity crushes that we clearly never would have a chance with and he said he would add Jessica* to the list. Jessica is our friend. More his friend than mine, but I like her very much. She and Paul used to work together and we’d go out with her and her husband quite often before we had kids. Jessica ended up getting a new job and divorced, and moved about an hour away though Paul still kept in touch with her here and there.

For some reason I told him I would allow him to have a free pass with Jessica. I really thought I wasn’t truly agreeing to anything. I never thought it would happen. And I wasn’t even jealous when he told me she would be his free pass because I think it’s healthy to be attracted to other people and playfully think about it. He was telling me about it so I just thought it was just that — him telling me he had the hots for his friend Jessica.

This was last year. And a few weeks after that conversation, he told me he spoke to Jessica and she was into it. He wanted me to honor that free pass. So I did. And I regret it.

Maybe I didn’t think it would really happen. Maybe I was shocked that he actually asked her if she wanted to have sex with him. But it happened. Just once. And I can’t help but feel totally insecure in my relationship now even though I said it was okay. We never discussed it in those early days after it happened. But in the last few months I’ve wanted to know more. He says it wasn’t that great. That he thought about me. That they don’t really talk anymore as friends. But I’m not sure how to deal with it all.

What do you think Anna should do? Would you ever allow your husband to be with another woman?

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