1. Trust Yourself –
This is the time to throw fear and self-doubt out the window. It won’t serve you. Listen to your inner you — your intuition — and do what you think is best. You had a life before you were married, and you are certainly capable of building a new one now. Know what’s most important to you. Honor your values. Trust your gut. Be present. Don’t obsess about the past or worry about the future. As some wise, anonymous person once said, “Worry is praying for what you don’t want.” And if you’re thinking about the past or fretting about the future, you aren’t here right now. You’re missing out on your life. You’re missing out on your kid’s lives. And you are missing out on an opportunity to truly be with yourself and understand what you really want. Your intuition is trying to help you; you just have to listen. You can find balance in your life again. You can be a great role model for your kids. The only person that can stop you is you.
2. Get Help –
You need lots of resources now — friends, family, handymen, to name a few. So, identify what you need and find a resource to help you. Make a list of all your resources, so you know who to call at a moment’s notice. Unfortunately, most people I know cringe at the idea of asking for help. That’s too bad, because your network actually does want to help. It feels good to contribute. People want to feel valued and needed. Don’t you? So, why would you deprive your friends and family of that opportunity? Everyone needs help at one time or another. You’ve likely helped many people in your past. It’s your turn to accept help. This is your time. You might feel alone right now, but you don’t have to be. It’s your choice.
3. Have Fun –
All work and no play makes for a very grumpy mom. Regardless of all your responsibilities, you still need to live your life! You’re working really hard to create the best life you can for yourself and your kids. The “best” life, though, has fun and silliness in it too. And your relationship with your kids has changed. A divorce makes you very conscious of your time with your children. There is less of it in a co-parenting plan, so every minute counts. Use that time to be the mom you want to be. Remember: you are their role model. They need you to have fun. Slow down. Take a breath. Don’t let all these responsibilities distract you from what is most important: your kids. They need this time with you, and they need to play with you. And you know what? You need it too! Remember that thought every time you hear them laughing, and don’t let it be too long before they hear you laughing.