PSA: MEN ARE SENSITIVE! “Everything a man does in this world is to please a woman!” From childhood, little boys gravitate towards their mothers and seek to please them. Disappointing mom would hurt a boy to his core.
Well, the same things holds true in adulthood. As men, we seek to please our wives. And as masculine as we might be and as tough as we come off, our weak spots lie within our women. And because of that, you may be hurting your man’s feelings and don’t even realize it.
Here are 4 scenarios to consider:
Remember that time when he took some initiative and did some things he doesn’t normally do? Remember when he cleaned the house, washed all the clothes, did the dishes and fixed those things around the house? Well, do you also remember when instead of saying thank you…the first thing you did was criticize him for missing those few spots, for not folding the clothes the way you like them folded or some other knit-picky thing?. You see, he was proud of what he had done and he did it all to satisfy you. But then you crushed that enthusiasm with your negativity. You hurt his feelings and didn’t even know it because he probably expressed it in a more masculine and defensive way like “well forget it then, next time do it your d**n self!”
Remember when he took the kids off your hands for the day just to give you a break and instead of you trusting that he knew what he was doing you called 100 times? Remember when you came back home and criticized how he had dressed the kids, what he made for them to eat, and fussed about the mess he let them make? You treated him like one of the kids instead and overlooked the whole fact that he did it all for you. You hurt his feelings and didn’t even know it because you were to self-absorbed to even realize it. He didn’t let you know you hurt his feelings, instead he just allows you to handle the kids for now on because obviously he isn’t capable.
Remember when he planned that special outing for you? He took to you a place he thought was nice, bought you a gift he thought you would like and he took you to the restaurant he thought you would enjoy. Do you also remember that you complained the whole weekend about the weather, you gave his gift the “what is this?” scrunched up face look, and you hated the food at the restaurant. Suddenly all of the effort he put into everything seemed in vain. Again he had disappointed you and your disappointment hurt his feelings and you didn’t even realize it. He didn’t say much about it though. But for now on he just asks you what you want to do because when he plans it you don’t like it.
Remember when he made a sexual advance at you on a Monday and you acted uninterested? Then he tried again on Tuesday and you had a headache. He tried Wednesday and you were “tired.” Thursday nights Scandal is on and he “knows better” than to “try” you during that time. Well now it’s 2 weeks later and he hasn’t tried at all and now you are getting suspicious. Well the truth is that you consistently turning down his advances hurt his feelings and his confidence. The same way you want to feel desirable he does too, but you were so used to controlling when the sex happens that you didn’t realize that. Now he just waits on you initiate because his ego can’t take being turned down anymore.
Should He Man Up?
I see you now thinking that he should just “Man Up” right? The truth is that it’s not a matter of masculinity, it’s more about the fact that your man wants to do nothing more than please you and he wants nothing more than for you to appreciate his efforts. He might not always get it right, but if he knows you appreciate it he will keep trying until he does.