Everyone wants to be a better lover. For many, especially men, inability to offer one’s partner a lasting sexual experience is a source of concern and even stress.
However avoiding premature ejaculation in men and lack of sexual stamina in either partner can be easy with the right set of bedroom techniques and lifestyle changes. Here are some steps to help boost your bedroom game and ensure satisfaction for both you and your partner.
Take it slow: Sex doesn’t have to be fast and furious. Keep your movements slow and steady and let stimulation build gradually. Instead of being forceful, tease and titillate your partner by holding back and varying the angle, speed and deepness of penetration. When both partners are ready you can speed up together for an explosive finish. One variation of this is called the “7 and 9” technique: keep yourself (and potentially your partner) stimulated without going over the edge of climax by alternating between seven fast strokes and nine slow strokes.
Change it up: One of the best ways to keep your energy up, prevent cramps and avoid premature ejaculation is to change positions, speeds and acts more frequently. When you feel yourself approaching orgasm, switch to a new position or stop to give your partner some manual or oral pleasure. Along with helping you last longer, this will give you a more interesting and varied sexual experience.
Take breaks: If you feel yourself getting too close to climax, or just running out of steam, just stop for a few minutes. You can use this time to enjoy foreplay, talk dirty, or switch to stimulating your partner manually or orally. When you’ve had a chance to cool down, dive back in for another round of intercourse.
Focus on foreplay: Penetrative intercourse isn’t the be-all and end-all of sex. You can give your partner a longer experience by taking the time to have great foreplay. Kissing, touching, pillow talk, and the use of toys or restraints can all make for awesome, memorable sex. Give your partner a lot oral and manual stimulation to get them ahead of you—or even get them to climax one or more times before penetration. If you make the most of several or all of the activities in your sexual toolbox, a few minutes of intercourse may be all either partner needs—or wants—to be satisfied.
Use thicker protection: While some argue that there is little noticeable difference between different condoms, many men and women swear using thicker condoms can reduce sensitivity and let them hold off orgasm longer. Using lube in conjunction with a condom has also been shown to help men last longer.
Try a desensitizing cream: Many sex stores and sexual health retailers sell creams that can be applied to the penis to numb sensations during sex, thus allowing men to hold off their climax longer. Of course stopping to put on a chemical cream isn’t the sexiest thing you can do in bed, so this method may be best saved for comfortable and committed sexual relationships. Look for a cream that absorbs into your skin to prevent numbing your partner as well.