Guy Takes Drugs, Claims To Be Jack Bauer, Commits Bizarre Burglary

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Jack Bauer is known for breaking in to high-security areas, but he usually doesn’t get caught stealing frozen crab from a residential apartment.

A Seattle man was allegedly on LSD and believed he was Jack Bauer — a secret agent on the show “24” — when police say he burglarized a couple’s home, KIRO 7 reported.

David Stolte, 30, allegedly broke into the apartment on Feb. 9. But instead of taking anything valuable, or stealing important documents that tell government secrets (like Bauer might do), Stolte just made a bizarre mess, according to police.

The owner of the apartment, Derek Doerschel, told KIRO 7 that he found cat litter in his sink, food thrown about the kitchen, window screens removed, a frozen pie in the oven, and a frozen crab placed on top of a bicycle kept inside a closet.

“The crab from the freezer was just sitting right here on the blanket on the bike,” Doerschel said.

Doerschel said he found his clothes in a bathtub, and his credit cards stuffed inside a chocolate muffin, according to The Daily Mail.

The burglarized victim immediately called police, then said he spotted Stolte in an alley beside the apartment. When Doerschel confronted the man, he said Stolte threw the victim’s own peep hole at him. Police arrested the man a short time later.

Officers said Stolte implied that he had taken LSD.

Court documents obtained by KIRO 7 show the suspect had been contacted by police several times over the past few years for incidents including running around naked, climbing on rooftops naked, smashing a bus window, and lying in the middle of the road attempting to be run over.

Stolte’s mother, Ria Quinton, said her son is on medication for type one bipolar disorder.

“It’s progressively getting worse,” Quinton said.

She said her son is on a waiting list to see a therapist.

“I know he would never hurt anyone else,” Quinton said. “He is capable of damaging property.”

Stolte has been charged with residential burglary.