In a recent Reddit thread, user confessionberry asked older women on the site what advice they would offer their younger counterparts. And Redditors on r/AskWomen, a place where commenters can ask users about “behavior, anatomy, habits or anything else that might baffle,” really came through.
Respondents provided advice and anecdotes about romance, priorities, finances and everything in-between.Here are eight pieces of wisdom they had to offer:
1. You’ll learn when something isn’t worth your energy. “It’s amazing how many things fix themselves. It’s even more amazing simply acknowledging that maybe it simply isn’t any of my business.”
2. In your 20s, you’re still maturing and changing as a person. “There is a huge amount of personal growth throughout your 20s. Someday you’ll look back on your 20s and be like ‘OH HELLLL NO'”
3. Don’t worry about aging. “Life is a process, and youth isn’t the be-all and end-all of a woman’s existence.”
4. Things probably won’t go the way you expected them to. “We all have a great plan, then shit happens.”
5. Don’t give yourself a deadline for major milestones. “I used to think that if I did not have kids or find ‘the one’ it would mean that I failed. But that is not the case. It is perfectly fine to be single at 30, and still figuring things out. Being single does not mean that I am not worth it.”
6. Relationships don’t stay the same for very long. “Relationships never ever stop changing, nor do people.”
7. You might start caring less about certain things as you get older — and that’s okay. “Many women in their 30s, myself included, start to feel more confident and happy with life. And a lot develop a ‘f*ck it, I don’t care’ attitude toward others’ opinions, or a ‘f*ck it, I can handle this’ attitude toward problems.”
8. Never become completely dependent on one person for your financial wellbeing.
Men come and go. Do not put your life in their hands financially long-term, get a job and make sure that at any given moment you can provide for yourself and possibly for a child. Because anything can happen. Divorce, stroke, car crash, cheating — anything.