I’m 21 And Find It Hard To Choose Among My Three Suitors [Advice Needed]

About a year ago, I ended my long-term relationship (we were together for four years) because I felt it was getting monotonous. Besides, I’m only 21 now, and I’ve been dating this guy since I was 16! Finally, I realized I needed some freedom and experience with other people.

I know I left the boy heartbroken, but, at the time, this looked like the least painful decision.


Since then, I’ve met and sort of been friendly (and slept with) with two guys. The first one has a girlfriend, but was already on the verge of breaking up with her when we met. The sex is amazing. He is a really nice guy, gentle, caring, smart, with a job. However, he is taking too long to leave his girlfriend, and I’ve started to suspect he will eventually decide to stay with her.

The second guy is older than me by almost a decade, rather well-doing and confident, single, never married. A dream come true, one would think, but for his short temper. He hit me several times and constantly abuses me verbally. This makes me doubt I want something steady with him, but… he makes up for every such incident in a very generous way, with presents, dinners, trips, etc.

Finally, we’re back on “friendly” terms with my ex (the one I dated for four years). It seems that he got rid of the traits I despised in him, got himself a decent job. Our relationship is much more smooth now that we don’t argue all the time. And he’s still single, indicating he wants me back. The problem with is that I don’t feel anything towards him anymore.

I know I sound like a very egoistic woman, toying with all three, but help me to make my mind! Should I continue considering those three, or move on and look for a fresh start? If not, whom should I choose – the ex I feel platonic towards, the wealthy man, or the one who is the nicest of them all but with a girlfriend?


  1. Swty I commend dat ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ were able to speak up about this, firstly I will tell ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ to get rid of T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ wealthy man cuz of his temper, one day he will beat ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ nd T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ money,gifts and trips won’t be able to cover T̶̲̥̅̊h̶̲̥̅̊e̶̲̥̅̊ marks on ur body and face, there is no point goin back to ur ex nd ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ dnt even love him again, the guy with a gf, tell him if he loves ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ he shld choose between ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ and the other girl, maybe he is just using ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ as backup. He can’t eat his cake and av it. Ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ beta with someone who loves ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ and ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ only. For me the guy with a gf is the beta one but he as to get rid of his gf. If he can’t girl ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ avnt seen a bf, beta ɣơ̴͡u̶̲̥̅̊ α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ single trust me.

  2. 4gt abt d 2 guys & go back 2d first guy u’v bin dating 4 yrs cus dat guy luvs u dats y he abandon wat u dislike abt him. No man wil luv his gal & rise his hands or abusive speech on her, dat is nt luv my dear & if u end up wit dat guy u ar finsh 4life u wil neva b hpyin life. Luv is d most important tin, if der is luv & respect btw d 2 of u i bet u, u wil nt regret in ur retnsp wit him.

  3. unm! U beter stick to d first one,you ve kn him for a while and u ve kn what he can du and what he cannot and aside he didn’t double date,cus if you follow d other two ,u will be beating and d other will brake ur heart like d one he does for ur sake. so don’t be taken away by face-generousity, u don’t kn what dey are duin at ur bak o,am a guy too

  4. A man wtout christ is full of crises,surrend to christ so dat he will direct u to ur right part.christ alone knows d indept of a man hrt,any tin dat a man does wit derriving joy its caurses pains at d end of it.ask ur selve do i ve joy in dis?if yes go on wit any of them,but if no let christ deside for u,so dat u wil nt regret at d end.ok for wit God altins are possible pls trust God on dis it will subprize u.bless u.

  5. Dear I advise u to reconcile with your first love cos the devil u av knwn for a very long tym is better than d God u jst knw o,dis is my piece of advice for you yield to it.

    Gbemie fajuke drm.

  6. Is beta u go back to the first one even though the relationship may be interesting sometimes dat u ll regret living him at the first place but take it or live it my sis there r tyms he ll insul u and kal u all sort of names like alort,beach etc and may even say u left me for anoda guy and dey ve all use u but his still beta than d single one and d one with a gf my sis he ll only use u and dump right afta his 2ru with u and if u knw u can’t cope with d insult 4rm d first one beta b patience and wait 4 d right one bcos dere is no serious one out dere dey r all d same. B payerful

  7. First nd foremost seek 1st d kingdom of God nd its righteousnes. This wil guide u in making a rightful decision.

    The best thing in relationship is monotonous
    Now u have 3 diff. experiences which can make u not 2 satisfy with only one man in life again.


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