There is no doubt that men and women differ greatly when it comes to love and relationships. But, just because men do not breakdown and complain frequently like many women do, does not mean that they are fine with everything that happens. Most of them either suffer in silence or get aggressive or even walk away from the relationship.
Wouldn’t it be better if their point of view was comprehended better by women? Here, we have for you some real men talking about some things that they expect from their partners when it comes to relationships. These relationship “secrets” will definitely be helpful for women who want to have a healthy and more fulfilling relationship.
1. “I am not flawless. Accept it!”
“I believe that no one is perfect and my wife should accept that I am not flawless. After all, I am a human being! At times, I may be a complete “mamma’s boy”, but still if I am able to make her laugh at least once, is that not enough for her to hold on to me? Also, I am not going to write poetry for her, and think about her every tick of the clock. But I am willing to give her a part of my life, won’t that do? She has to understand that I am not picture-perfect; but perfect just for her,” says Bali, a gym owner.
2. “I am as sensitive as you are”
“I am always expected to tip-toe around her feelings even if I am not in the mood to. Just because we don’t ask for admiration doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy it. Just because we are not wired like a woman, doesn’t mean that we don’t have emotions and feelings. Why can she vent out her frustration about my mother when we have an argument, but I can’t do the same? So, I am expected to be her vent hole and her punching bag, but I cannot expect the same from her? Men usually mask their emotions so that they don’t appear weak and vulnerable. I feel women should learn to value the feelings of men,” shares newly-married Rishabh Bansal, a journalist.,
3. “You can give some positive responses at times!”
Sameer Bhutani, a 25-year-old law graduate, complains, “If I tell my girlfriend ‘You are pretty’, she snaps, “You are just making that up’. Once I told her, ‘Honey, you are getting slim’, and her reply was, ‘See properly and you will see that I am putting on weight’. I don’t understand why can’t she just accept my compliments without such self-depreciation? Instead of revelling in it, she leaves me in a dicey situation with her mean tones or loads of scorns. I try to make her feel beautiful, but then the way she keeps talking holds me back from giving compliments. We guys want to shower our girlfriends with praises and adorations but they act funny at times, which gets on our nerves!”
4. “I would love it if you request rather than demand”
“None of us like to live with someone who is too controlling or demanding. Just because we love them, we keep giving in to their demands, even if they are unreasonable. But actually we do not appreciate this behaviour. Wives keep bossing around, thinking that their husbands are okay with this. In reality, we men keep ignoring it, but this only makes them more demanding! My wife constantly keeps demanding for things, and even blackmails me emotionally! She keeps making and breaking rules herself. I would really appreciate it if she could communicate her needs to me and ask for something nicely. Who would want to do something good for someone who is forcing them to do it?” asks circulation manager, Suhas Malhotra.
5. “It is a two-way street!”
Fashion designer, Varun Kumar, who has been married for six years, says, “Girls expect a great deal of affection and time from their men, but they forget that love is a two way street. If a wife wants to enhance her husband’s ability to express love, even she should meet his emotional needs. Things like quality time, gifts, romantic talks, or acts of love are not meant for women alone! They look for everything in their “love paradise” but when it comes to returning the favour, they take us for granted. This is really hurtful. Once they realise this and are prepared to give exactly what they expect, it will really make a lot of difference.”
6. “There is no harm in being a good listener”
“Trying to grasp what your partner is saying and keeping patience is the recipe for a successful marriage. Sometimes I notice that my wife is hardly listening to what I say and keeps nodding without paying any attention; this trait is really annoying. Plus, she is very impatient at times. She gets irritated with things as small as me coming home late or not taking my son to play. At times, there are situations that need patience and tolerance. For a healthy and happy relationship, she must be mindful in situations that demand endurance!” says Rahul Mudgal, a designer with a shopping portal.
7. “Please do not compare!”
Web developer, Prateek Singhania, shares, “Many girls keep looking for their friend’s husband’s, or their father’s qualities in guys they meet. If they are truly interested in someone, why do they compare him with every Tom, Dick and Harry? It is wrong to compare their partner with anyone and wish them to be someone else. I feel women should not say anything to their men that in any way hints towards comparison. This is likely to cause shame, anger or frustration in men and is enough to spoil a perfectly fine relationship. Taunts, sarcasm and making jokes on their activities while comparing them with someone else can make men feel weak.”
8. “Let bygones be bygones!”
“Any man will feel disappointed if his wife carries the baggage of her past relationships. It certainly kills the chances of a “happily ever after”. The simple fact that a wife is still thinking of her past relationship is enough to wound the confidence and ego of a man. So, rather than brooding over her past, they can think about the future that is knocking on the door. Continuously bringing up past relationships can be harmful in the long run,” says Kamal Aggarwal, graphic designer.
If only women knew all that went on in their partners’ mind, relationships would be so much better and happier!