In 40% of households with children under the age of 18, women are the bread winners (primary source of income). Now I’ve tussled and debated about this issue and examined many angles about how it affects relationships and marriages. Men have been taught, from the beginning, that their role was to “provide.” So, this shifting dynamic can prove to be cumbersome for a male in defining his role within his family. What this tells me is that as things evolve, as men, we have to find ways to find value within ourselves beyond our pay checks! Truth is that her earning potential may be higher but that doesn’t necessarily make you less valuable. She may not “need” your money but she may just WANT some other things from you. Here are a few of them!
Men, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing in your relationship. You may not make more money than her, but if you wake up and go to work every day and you can honestly say you work hard to contribute to the household, you should be proud. Not to mention, there is still a household and family to run that needs a contribution from both of you. There are kids that need to be raised, a yard to be kept, a house to be cleaned, and a woman to be loved.
The thing that causes the issue most times isn’t that you don’t make more money, it’s that you don’t put the effort in to CONTRIBUTE. You can’t shut down just because your pay check is down compared to hers. If you chose to marry a reasonable woman, ask a simple question: Baby what more do you need me from me? You may just find out that money is last on the list.
Women love to feel secure. Financial security is only a small portion of what makes her feel secure, and the other part of that security she seeks is from you. She feels great knowing that you are hers and she is yours and that you would lay your life down for her. When she knows she can find comfort and security in your arms she feels safe, protected and secure. Protect her and the family you have built together. Be there for her when she needs you and stand up for her when she needs you. Be her shield, not just a paycheck!
3. Love & Companionship
Everyone wants to be loved and to be able to love someone right back. The friendship that your relationship was built on means so much. The times you spend just laughing together and enjoying each other aren’t about your paycheck because those are the things that are priceless. The time you put into making her smile doesn’t cost much but thought & effort. I guarantee you that the time she cherishes the most is the time with you & the family you’ve built, not you and paycheck you’re handing over. Turn down the attitude you may have because the check or lack there of makes you feel inferior. And instead, stand tall in the fact that you can still make her smile…..and she needs that!
You should be her number one fan, not her number one critic. She needs you to be happy about her success and not threatened by it. When she gets that raise or promotion, she shouldn’t have to downplay it so that you feel better, she should be excited about coming home to tell her number one fan….YOU! The same way that she puts that cape on you when you go to conquer the world, you should put that cape on her as well. She chose YOU for a reason so focus on building together and not competing. You’re stronger together.