So was having a conversation with a group of guys, some single and some married, and one of the things that came up was how much women tend to dog their men to other women, in public. Single guys were like “man, with the way women talk about their men I’m never getting married.” Surprisingly enough, a lot of these bash sessions happen at work! Every day at lunch it’s like the husband hot seat! Now before you get on the “well what about when men do it?” soap box just hear me out. Ladies, while for you this may be your way of venting here are a few reasons you may want be more conscious of your water cooler conversations.
1. You end up looking bad.
Look ladies, you can’t vent to all of your colleagues about everything your man is doing wrong and how much of a jerk he is and expect it to not make you look crazy as well. You’re at work being a “boss” and “miss corporate mover and shaker,” but instead of your colleagues seeing that all they see is the dumb lady who has a husband that is a mess. I know they told you that home doesn’t matter at work, but truth is that many times it does and could come back to haunt you! TWO became ONE!
2) Your venting is very one-sided.
It’s so easy to vent about everything negative about your man. He’s a slob because he left his clothes on the floor, or maybe he’s lazy because he won’t wash a dish. While it may be true and you may be frustrated, what you never tell anyone is how hard he works to provide for your family, or how great of a father he is, or how you two have the best times together. So now, without realizing it, you have branded your husband as a bum when he actually is far from it. Be conscious!
3) Some women may get “curious.”
Some women will get so tired of hearing you complain about your husband that they may just want to save him themselves. Some women would love to pick up his clothes off the floor if it meant he would be home every night. Some ladies will think “poor man must be going through it!” Next thing you know she is in his Facebook inbox offering way more than “advice!” While you’re coming home daily offering him chaos, she will be offering him peace! You may find this hard to believe but just trust me… it happens a lot. You don’t want to be the woman that finds out first hand just how true this can be.
4) He may have no clue that you are fed up.
I’m amazed at the number of times I coach women and they are complaining about everything their husbands don’t do. Then when I ask them, “well have you told him this?” they say “NO….he should just know!” Ummm WRONG!! A lot of times, men don’t ”just know,” so open up your mouth and SAY SOMETHING. Instead, you vent to your friends and colleagues and never enlighten HIM….well except with your passive aggressive behavior. TELL HIM, not THEM!
Your man may not be perfect but there is a reason you got with him and are still with him! It’s okay to vent from time to time, but just be conscious about the fact that it’s bigger than you! Don’t have everyone rolling their eyes at him at the company party!