Argentine Player Says He Tore His Anus Making Match-Saving Block Against The Netherlands

Brazil Soccer WCup Netherlands Argentina

Think Neymar’s fractured vertebra is the worst injury of the World Cup? Think again. His busted back has been overshadowed by a real a**hole.

Literally, as in, a torn anus, suffered by Argentina’s Javier Mascherano during Wednesday’s victory over the Netherlands.

Mascherano sustained the gruesome injury at the tail end of regulation play, when he stretched to block a potentially game-ending shot on goal by Dutch player Arjen Robben.

“I thought I had slipped, I thought I wouldn’t make it, but I tore my anus on that move, the pain … it was terrible,” Mascherano said in a post-game interview translated by The Independent. “I threw myself into it. I could have been sent off. It could have been a penalty but anyone could have done that, I had the luck to get there.”

Earlier in the match, Mascherano knocked heads with another player, collapsed, and was helped off the field, only to return 2 minutes later, leading many to speculate he’d also played through a concussion.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here