I was being short with my wife and very passive aggressive, and NO my period wasn’t on! It made me think about how when we begin our relationships, in our eyes, our mates can do no WRONG. But as we mature in those relationships sometimes we act as if our mate can’t do anything RIGHT.
Here are 3 questions to ask yourself when your mate is getting on your nerves:
What happened to the patience you used to have?
I know after years of being together we think our mate should do everything right and should anticipate all of our needs, but the truth is that sometimes we fall short. You don’t have to go from 0 to 100 because he left his socks on the floor and you don’t have to fly off the handle because you didn’t like the meal she cooked. Sometimes we have way more patience with everyone else and the least amount of patience with the person we claim to love the most. Think about that.
Who are you really mad with?
Unfortunately a lot of times the easiest person to have an attitude with is our mate. Sometimes we displace the annoyance we have with our job, or our friends and family on our mate. Even bigger than that, we displace our unhappiness with OURSELVES on our mate. I know your mate is the easy target but they would much rather be you ally! You might want to be happier with the person you spend the MOST time with.
What is the real issue?
Usually when we find ourselves annoyed with our mate the issue is bigger than the small thing we are nagging about. You weren’t mad about the dishes, you were mad that you haven’t been getting the attention you’ve been wanting for yourself or the kids. You weren’t mad that she bought those shoes, you were mad because you haven’t had any sex or intimacy in a few weeks. No matter what you’re nagging about be sure to COMMUNICATE about what’s really bothering you.
Most of the time that we are mad or annoyed with our mate, it’s usually over something that wasn’t even worth the emotional energy. Most big issues and lack of patience are a manifestation of small issues that were never discussed. Practice a little more patience with your mate, communicate often and stop trying so hard to be mad!