I hate arguing. There, I said it. When it comes to relationships and all things romantic, I try to avoid confrontation in any way possible. I’d so much rather things between someone I’m dating and myself be happy, light, and not weighed down by the negative energy that arguing brings. With that said, it’s generally unavoidable, and according to a recent study — there could be a greater reason why couples argue in the first place.
A Baylor University study reveals that the real reason you argue with someone else you’re involved with is so that they can relinquish power, making you feel more dominant. So essentially, couples argue so someone can feel like they have control? Well now, that sounds healthy … not.
Despite whether your arguments are based off of emotions or occurrences, I can see where this study is coming from. Say I was to find out that a boyfriend cheated on me. In that scenario where it feels like he harnessed his power in the relationship to step outside the lines, I instantaneously feel weak. Causing a fight and argument with him may stem from my emotions and the hurt he’s caused me, but the ultimate goal at the end of the dispute will be for me to not feel so low. In a situation like that where one could feel extremely vulnerable, my goal would be to somehow gain back the strength that he’s taken from me and therefore — him to relinquish some of that power. Ugh, men.
It’s a crazy cycle that we all go through in relationships. Plain and simple: It’s hardly ever smooth sailing for any couple. Whether or not it’s a bit of a power struggle — the thing that matters is that you can argue with someone, handle the issue, and come out on the other side of it with a greater understanding. That alone is just as important as the mushy gushy stuff. Believe me.