Each one of us has some of our own funny experiences of growing up. But there are some things that are common among most Nigerians.
Respect is a very important issue in any Nigerian family. Children should respect anyone who is older than they are, even if he is just a day older. So it is a bad idea to greet your Nigerian elder relative with “hi” or “hello”.
Nobody can punish like your Nigerian parents. It is a well-known fact. Usually when they think that you should be punished, they often start by calling you by your full name. And after a huge monologue in which you are depicted as a little devil, they can punch you or to throw a slipper at you. There is no use running or responding on their accusations. You will be blamed anyway.
Gods of sarcasm
Nigerian parents are true masters of sarcasm. Every one of us knows the special intonation and a specific number of times calling, which mean you have done something wrong. Or they can call you hundred times just to bring them a TV remote which can be a few steps away. Don’t even try to correct their English. Best case scenario, they will reply that it is not their language; worst case – you will be blamed for something.
They all were perfect students.
When they studied they probably got only “A”:
“Mommy, I got 98%!”
“In my time I got only 100%, you should try better”
You can’t date anyone. It is forbidden. But when you are older than 25, you are supposed to be married. How? Well, that is a secret only they know.
If you were a girl in Nigerian family, then you know that you should clean your house every day. It is almost like you should be ready for the coming of a health inspector. But it is actually your mom, and she is much deadlier than an ordinary inspector.
The bad thing about weddings is that they usually start two or three hours later. A normal wedding is also impossible without a good fight. There can be any reason – food or drinks – for such arguments. If you do not sit close enough to the stage, you might miss a lot due to the gele-wearing women.
You do not get pocket money as a Nigerian child. And forget about being paid for doing chores.
“I used the money to feed you and pay for your school” – that will be your answer.
Perhaps your parents don’t tell you very often that they love you. But they really do! They are probably just a little bit shy. So appreciate your parents, for their respect, self sacrifice and patience. They do love you very much!