5 Things a Husband Should Do for His Wife without Her Having to Ask

As a relatively new husband, I try to do a good job at following my “honey do” list. We’re still merging lives so I’m sure there are times I fall short, but this is a work in progress in which I’m getting better daily. One thing I knew before we got married is that there are some things I will need to handle and not wait on her to ask me to do.

1. Security

I need to do my best to make my wife feel secure. She shouldn’t have to ask about it, because I know she needs it. That can mean several things. I will do whatever it takes to make sure she’s financially secure. I need to make her feel secure in her home. I must make her feel secure in our relationship. Women may have different levels of their security requirement, depending on their background, but one thing is for sure—they all need us to provide security in our marriages.

2. Lighten the Mood

Whether you have a wife who is a light-hearted free spirit or if you have a wife who is serious all of the time, it’s important to be Comedian-in-chief in your household. Keeping a light, fresh mood in the house releases the tension and preserves the fun in our marriages. You don’t have to be Kevin Hart and completely ridiculous, but you will find if you can keep her laughing, she will enjoy and remember many of the reasons why she chose to be with you in the first place.

3. Pay Attention

Whatever your wife may like, want or need that she mentions, but she feels that for whatever reason (timing, finances, location, etc.) that she can’t get that certain thing right now, make a mental note of it and provide it for her when you can. Paying attention to her needs is more than paying attention to context clues; it’s paying attention to how she feels about a certain thing or how her eyes light up when she touches a specific dress or looks at a certain hairstyle. Any number of things can change the tone in her voice or brighten her eyes to let you know this product or service could make her day a little brighter. When you pay more attention to her needs, she will definitely pay more attention to yours.

4. Tell Her You Appreciate Her

It’s important to tell our spouses we love them. They know it, but when it’s a genuine thought, they probably can’t hear it enough. Along that same line, let them know you appreciate them by verbally telling them. Remind them from time to time you see the sacrifices they make for you and the family. When we don’t let our spouses know they are appreciated, sometimes they can be led to believe they are being taken for granted, when that may be the farthest thing from the truth. Remind her that you love her, but also don’t forget to remind her how much you appreciate her for who she is and what she does.

5. Give it to her on the Regular

Yep, I went there. I should clarify you should expect there will be times that she will indeed ask, initiate, set it off—however you want to say it. I’m excluding those moments here, I’m talking about physical intimacy on a consistent basis. In a marriage, sex is an important component. Sex is shared intimacy and it’s a time when there are only the two of you—no distractions. She needs some of that quality time with you as her husband. If your career, finances, family or any number of other things are stressing you out and you are neglecting her needs, you are neglecting your marriage. You have to make time to satisfy your wife. She came into the marriage expecting it, she deserves it, wants it and shouldn’t have to ask for it—it should be available to her just like all forms of intimacy with her spouse and your quality time.

The more we can do for our wives without her having to ask; the more we will be fulfilled by pleasing her and the more she will fulfill us by expressing her love and gratitude.

Source: BMWK