After talking to a friend about relationships recently, I realized that there are some questions you should ask yourself about married life when things aren’t going the way you had anticipated — six questions to ask when married life seems tough.
Or when the marital grass on the other side of the fence is looking so much greener than your own.
1. Am I watering?
Have I been pouring into my marriage or sucking the life out of it? Without deposits of time to pour into a marriage, you can be sure it will dry up.
2. Am I fertilizing?
Have I taken the time to seasonally nourish my spouse? Spelled out plainly: Do I remember important dates in our relationship? Do I encourage my spouse’s goals? Do I praise my spouse’s achievements?
3. Am I pruning?
Sometimes we need to trim off a few dead ends to keep marriage fresh. When we’ve settled into habits that aren’t appreciated by our spouse, then it’s time to get rid of those habits.
4. Am I weeding?
If bitterness has taken root and crabgrass is overtaking the whole yard, no wonder the neighbor’s grass is looking better. As my father-in-law prayed yesterday, “Lord, let us remember not to let the sun go down on our wrath but to forgive one another each day.”
5. Am I seeding?
Those worn out places of marriage may need a little revitalizing! Do something new together. Try a new restaurant. Plan a weekend trip. Grow new areas of interest together! My hubby and I found running is a wonderful way to seed our marriage.
6. Do we need to seek professional advice?
How do we know when to seek marital counseling? When either one feels deeply that outside assistance is needed.
There are times when married life doesn’t just seem tough, it is tough. But the questions above are ones that can be used to take a step back and determine if we are ready to be part of the solution.