We are all selfish,
therefore we all have needs. Whether single or married, men and women
have different needs. Above all, I think the need we hear most about is
love. The thing about love though is that it is more of a woman’s need
than a man’s need. Are we together still?
Go up to any man and ask him what he needs the most from either a man or
woman. I would bet to say that 95 percent of the time, a man is going
to say respect. Well what does respect look like to a man? How does a
man gain or maintain respect? Especially in his marriage.
Overall, respect is pretty cut and dry, just like your average man. The
problem for most men is that as bad as they need it, they don’t tell
their wife what it looks like or how she can show it to him. In the
meantime, since she understands love, she will continue to drive “love”
into him and in most cases the man will shut down.
So here’s what I have listed below: the five BIG needs of a husband.
Respect is still at the top of the list, but I have added a few aspects
of it along with some thoughts on desire at the end.
Here are the five BIG needs of a Husband. Feel free to add your own in
the comments at the end.
1) Show Respect
What is the actual definition of respect? The actual term means to hold
in esteem or honor. When was the last time you felt like you were held
in honor or esteem and wives, have you ever thought about your husband’s
position in this way?
It has taken a few years for my wife to understand what it means to
respect me and for me to love her, but with more honest and open lines
of communication, we are figuring it out.
A quick example of a time I felt disrespected was when we were in a
large group of people and I answered a question incorrectly. She
immediately told everyone that I was wrong and corrected me in front of
everyone. Although this seems like a mild case, my anger rose to the
roof and I completely shut down. My honor and respect had been destroyed
by my own wife along with everyone else in the room.
Fortunately, we were able to talk about it on the way home and resolve
it. The interesting part was that she had no idea that this situation
spoke disrespect. And because she is a wonderful wife, she makes every
effort to not do this again.
Men, does your wife understand what respect means to you? Do you know
what it looks like? If you’re struggling in your marriage, sit down with
your wife and let her know what respect looks like to you in a very
loving way. Do it today!
2) Show Appreciation
I don’t know how else to say it, but men love to be appreciated. Even if
we just took out the trash, we love to know that you noticed and are
grateful. Call us shallow if you please, but it is just the way we were
Here are a few other examples of appreciation: “Thank you for working
hard each day for our family,” “Thank you for being a present and
supportive father,” “Thank you for being a faithful husband.” Just as
wives need to hear the words “I Love You” often, we need to hear the
words “I Appreciate You“.
Let’s take this thought a step further though. A couple of years ago, my
beautiful wife and I decided to be grateful for all of the little
things we do for each other as often as possible. What does this look
like? “Thank you for making a great dinner,” “Thank you for mowing the
lawn, it looks great,” “Thank you for doing the laundry.”
There are no limits to showing appreciation for your spouse. The real
trick is learning to be consistent. And be careful to never get into the
habit of assuming your spouse knows you’re grateful or knows they love
you. SAY THE WORDS AND SAY THEM OFTEN!
Men, are you leading a marriage that is appreciative and thankful? Dig
deep this week and show appreciation to your wife for the many things
she does for you. Before long, you will hear the words coming back to
you. Do it today!
3) Show Support
Showing support is a big part of respect. Wives, sometimes you may have
to be supporting something crazy, but a husband needs to know you
support him and will root for him. What are some examples of support?
“You did a great job on completing that project for work”, “You played a
really great game tonight”.
One of the great ways my wife shows support for me is writing this blog.
I love the fact that she has this site saved on her favorites, she will
engage with me about posts I have written and on occasion she will tell
me how proud she is of me that I continue to write. All of that is a
huge encouragement to me and I love the support.
Men, are you struggling with this in your marriage? Again, this might be
an area that your wife does not understand. In a loving way, let her
know that you need and appreciate her support. Do it today!
4) Be Encouraging
It can be a bold and brutal world sometimes, and sometimes the only
encouragement we can depend on is from our wife. This is another
critical aspect of respect and the needs of a man. What are some
examples of encouragement? “Don’t give up, you’re doing a great job,”
“Keep up the great work on the housework,” “Don’t worry, keep up the
great work, the finances will pick up soon.”
There have been many times in my own marriage where I have been down or
depressed and my wife has been there to encourage me and lift me back
up. Wives we need to know that you are our biggest fan!
Men, if you feel like you don’t get any appreciation from your wife, let
her know in a loving way this week. In the meantime, continue to
encourage her in all of her endeavors. Do it today!
5) Be His Desire
In most cases, men and women see desire in a much different way. One of
the main reasons is that men are much more visual than women. How does a
man deal with desire in marriage?
First of all, you keep your eyes on your wife. As they say, “The grass
is always greener where you water it”.
Men, we must stay focused on our wife’s inner and outer beauty and not
get trapped into the false desires that the world tries to offer us.
Wives, when we comment on your beauty in any way, embrace it! No matter
how you feel about yourself or what other people say, indulge in the
love and affection that your husband is showing you. Your simple
embracing will give him the encouragement to continue doing it.
I struggled with telling my wonderful wife how beautiful she was when we
were first married. I went with the “assumption” route as I mentioned
above and figured she knew what I thought about her. This is the wrong
path; just as men need to hear encouragement, wives need to hear that
their husbands love them.
“I WILL KEEP MY WIFE AS MY DESIRE.” “I WILL KEEP MY HUSBAND MY DESIRE.”
If you are having issues in this area, put your line above somewhere
where you can see it every day and be reminded. Do it today!
Questions, concerns, thoughts? If so, mention them in the comments
section below and in the meantime …
GET TO WORK!
– SOURCE: believe.com