The very mention of the word ‘marriage’ can spark many mixed emotions in the hearts of several men and women. From the feeling of love and euphoria to panic and stress, a lot of things go in and out of everyone’s mind. What generally starts as a harmless question in one’s mind can quickly become an overwhelming anxiety.
Keep in mind there is a difference between fear of commitment and fear of marriage. A person scared of marriage may have no issues with being with their partner throughout their lives, but are terrified at the prospect of getting married to the same person. Many people do not fear falling in love or getting into a relationship, but it is the marriage and its ‘tag’ that scares them away from it.
We talked to a many such people around, who have a fear of marriage in their hearts. And, here are the top 5 deep-seated fears that holds them back from walking down the aisle with their sweetheart.
#1. “It might end in divorce.”
Marriage is the biggest commitment you will ever make and with the dismal success rate of the institution, many are scared to take the plunge. With many people growing up as witnesses of loveless or broken marriages around them, they do end up fearing the institution themselves. More than the marriage, it is the divorce that one fears to handle, or even wants to think about.
#2. “Keeping your partner faithful to you is not easy.”
The sense of betrayal and loss of trust can trigger intense levels of depression, low self-esteem, and feelings of abandonment for the person who was cheated on. No one wants to face the feeling of their partner being with (or, falling in love with) someone else. And this feeling becomes even more dangerous and hard to handle if the relationship has the tag of marriage on it. ‘Being cheated on’ is often the most difficult experience for any person to go through, and when it comes from someone who is their better half, the pain increases multifold.
#3. “I will loose my freedom and space.”
Most men and women fear they will no longer be able to do what they like without their partner’s consent. Whether it is to make a purchase, meet family and friends, or make some plans, they fear that there might be few restrictions after they tie the knot. This fear of loss of choice is hard to cope up with for many people. The thought of having to submit to their spouses’ demands can make many men and women feel imprisoned and stifled.
#4. “Falling out of love is a reality too!”
We all know that committed relationships need us to risk our hearts. When people especially see bitter relationships around them or witness love marriages falling apart, it leaves them embittered as well towards the institution of marriage on the whole. This prevents them from being intimate with their partner in the first place; and once they do get intimate, they fear falling out of love with him/her, or vice-versa.
#5. “It is unknown territory.”
Imagination can run wild with various “what if” situations. One of the many reasons of fears is the focus on perfection. Questions, like “What if I don’t love him/her enough?”, “What if he/she doesn’t love me back?”, “What if we are not perfect for one another?”, “What if he/she changes after marriage?”, “What if I’m just compromising?”, “What if his or her family doesn’t like me?” etc. can loom large in the mind. The constant anxiety about whether everything will go okay with the marriage can wear a person down.
If you have any of these fears, it would help you if you share them with your partner or family, and learn if they too have any fears. Overcome your fears with the help of your loved ones, be it your partner, friends or family. In some cases, you might want to opt for counselling to get over your marriage anxiety. So, it is better to take your time to face your innermost fears, with your loved ones along your side, rather than running away from marriage.