Men have a propensity for saying the first thing to come to their minds, and it’s usually the last thing they should’ve said.
They think with their second brains and any woman in a relationship knows just because he says something doesn’t mean he means it.
So when it comes to love, how do you know when your man is serious? How do you know he’s not just trying to get you into bed or off the subject? How do you know when he’s just being an idiot or when he’s actually sincere?
Nearly all people can make themselves believe they’re in love, confuse it for lust and refuse to admit their sexual desire is stronger than any emotional one.
Men, unlike women, find it especially hard to distinguish between the two. Whether they refuse to admit they’re in it, or think they are when they’re not, they don’t always understand the power of love.
They say it at whim, by chance and, many times, just to get us into bed.
It doesn’t mean men don’t love us. From what I’ve learned, men have a tendency to fall harder than women… they just take longer to get there. They also have a tendency, however, to say things they don’t mean.
So when it comes to finding out if the man you’re with really loves you, it’s not about what he’s saying; it’s about what he’s doing.
Any man can say “I love you.” Any guy can mutter three words. Any guy can tell you one thing and prove the other.
When it comes to the man who’s telling you he loves you, the best way to tell is to live by the one truth our mothers told us, “Never believe anything men say, only what men do.”
1. He goes to things he doesn’t want to go to because you’re going.
He obviously doesn’t want to go to your random coworker’s house-warming party, but if you’re there, none of the details matter.
2. He’ll stay in on a Friday when you’re sick and risk getting it.
He wants to be with you, even when you’re sick. There are no limits to his love or his devotion. Taking care of you is still better than a night without you.
3. He can sleep with you and not have sex.
Getting you into bed isn’t a prerequisite for sex. It’s just another place he likes to lie with you (and not to you).
4. He buys your friends drinks too.
He doesn’t just want make you happy, but the people closest to you, too.
5. He goes where you want to go for dinner.
His own needs and desires come second to pleasing you.
6. He buys snacks specifically for you.
His cabinet is stocked with Gushers and green tea because he doesn’t see you as just any other guest.
7. After a trip, he stops to see you before seeing his own apartment.
Being in love and apart is one of life’s greatest travesties. He doesn’t waste any more time away from you than he has to.
8. He’ll always text you back, even when it’s inconvenient.
Sometimes he just don’t feel like texting. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk right now. But he’ll never let you just sit there with an unanswered text.
9. He pays attention to the little things and remembers them for later.
He knows what notebooks you like to write in, what kind of Snapple you love and he remembers all about the fish allergy you mentioned once.
10. He tries to set up his friends with your friends.
He wants your life to become as much a part of his life as possible. If that means double-dating, so be it.
11. He gives you a towel.
He wants you to be comfortable when you stay over. He wants you to feel at home and safe. In order to do that, he treats his apartment like a fancy hotel and you’re the VIP guest.
12. He tells you you’re beautiful when you wake up — no matter how much makeup is smeared across your face.
Because you are beautiful, and real love transcends looks and smeared makeup.
13. He even pretends to listen when you’re complaining about insignificant drama.
He indulges you in your gossip and will pretend to care about your boss’s new girlfriend.
14. He doesn’t act any different when his friends are around.
Your partner is open about your relationship in front of his friends. He’s not ashamed to admit he has a girlfriend and hug you in front of them — he’s proud.
15. He actually gives you advice when you talk to him.
He doesn’t just listen to your problems, he cares about them, too. He wants to see you happy, and that means treating your bad day like his own.
16. He carries that extra bag of yours — you know, the really girly one.
He wants to help you take a load off (figurateively and literally). He has no shame carrying your purse, because it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks but you.
17. He doesn’t need to tell you he loves you.
You don’t feel unloved or insecure because he doesn’t say it to you every day. You know he loves you by the way he looks at you, waits for you and wants to be with you.