The Sad Truth About Virginity And How It Affects Marriage

Growing up, a woman’s virginity was such a big issue and a high value was placed on it.

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From time immemorial, a woman’s virginity has been seen as one of her most prized possessions and a certain respect was accorded to any woman who remained a virgin till marriage.

But with modernization came a new school which places less value on a woman’s virginity. These days, virginity is even seen as a curse. Girls have no qualms losing it to the first man that comes their way.

In the days of old, a maiden was expected to go into marriage as a virgin. If on the first night after the marriage her husband discovered she was not a virgin, her family gets instant condemnation.

But civilization has substantially changed the way people perceive virginity. Today, there’s so much pressure on girls to gain sexual experience before getting married as some men do not want to marry a woman with no sexual experience.

Most girls who have friends that are already sexually active feel left out when they are discussing their experiences, hence the urge to also experiment for themselves.

But what is the big deal about virginity? Could it be the secret to a happy marriage?

Let’s take a look at some of the answers given by some Naij.com readers.

According to Ella Ada Obani, being a virgin does not guarantee a happy marriage but it earns trust. “You might be a virgin, but ur attitude and character is zero,” she adds.

Owomoyela Abimbola Hanna said: “Yes it does, because the bible doesn’t support sex before marriage. And whenever we do things according to the will of God, we live a happy and fulfilled life.

It pays to be a virgin. If you are a virgin when you pray, God answers you speedily because you have kept yourself pure. Secondly, it is only a foolish man or a ‘man dog’ that does not have value for a virgin. Do you know what it cost a lady to preserve her nakedness for just one man? Any husband that happens to be the first to drink from the cistern of his wife should count himself blessed. 2yrs ago, Imo state government was giving out cars to serving female corpers that got married as virgin. Let us teach our children to uphold their virginity. Your virginity is your pride,” Ebony Celestine said.

Anekwe Nkechi believes that some girls are still virgin in 20’s but it has nothing to do with happiness in marriage. She explains that some virgins find it difficult to conceive, saying: “so virgin or no virgin doesn’t guarantee anything.”

Justynoble Ben is of the opinion that being a virgin can guarantee a happy marriage to some extent because your husband will always respect and cherish you and with that he will hardly hurt you. “If I am given such privilege to be a virgin again, I would love to be,” he adds.

Eno Jonah said: “It doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage but you’ll be happy about not having a dark past. Your husband will always respect you for that, if given another chance I’ll still be a virgin for him again.”

The answer to this question is Yes & No. Being a virgin guarantees a happy home as your hubby will cherish you like gold not only that, he won’t have the mind to cheat on you and you also earn respect trust from him. On the other hand, why I say it doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage is when you are married to the wrong person. I am a virgin and am very proud of myself, still love to be a virgin again in my next life,” Muslihat Obomeghie said.

Another reader named Jane Odukwe said: My question is the man coming to marry a virgin, is he a virgin? Typical no, so why is he looking for a virgin? Sounds as if making marriage work is made for women alone. What about the men, can’t they put effort to see that their marriage works too.

It is quite understandable that the pressure to remain a virgin till marriage has become more and more difficult in today’s world which celebrates waywardness, immorality, indecency and stupidity more than uprightness and decency.

But there are still a number of virgins out there and you can be one of them. If you desire to, all you need to do is make up your mind and determine to keep your virginity till marriage.

Though it is not very easy, it is possible.

11 Comments

  • Virginity is a gift dat shuld be unwrapped by the man and woman worthy of it (your husband or wife).It is not only meant for women but for both sex. As a virgin,u are free from Guilt and u live healthy.you not scared of anything,u are bold and proud of your self.it shows that u have selfcontrol and that u are disciplined.As a woman,ur husband will appreciate and trust u undoubtedly.I am proud to be a virgin.

  • If all men should seek for a virgin has a pride, who will marry the one he disvirgin when he wasn’t ready has a man? On my own opinion I sincerely think to be a virgin and having a successful marriege is one have a good character and upbringing. It doesn’t matter how you start all that matter is how it will end. I have seen a lot of divorce of which the lady was married as a virgin. But be cos of her attitude, even her virginity could not save her marriage.

    • stop mis leading innocent girls…a virgin girl most time has a good character ….so stop trying to justify why u lost urs…..take responsibility for ur action

    • my dear, dont b deceived…Jesus is not mocked….being a virgin is a glory alone for her husband….do u knw wat dis means spiritually? i bet u dont….a man as well has his own virginity not for ladies alone….a having sex with a person u dont want to marry is having an unknw convanant….love d lord wit whole of ur heart and u will b surprised how ur marriage will…you dat u are stil a virgin…congratulations bt please work on ursef as well virginity does nt quarantee heaven…look beyond dis worldly things….God will giv us strength to do his will…keeping ur body is d will of God

  • a commendable act by those youths disciplined enough to be involved and this is evaluated by all standards of cross– cultural judgement

  • the worth of being virgin can not be heard from women who are not virgin. A virgin man knows what will be the character of a virgin lady. without doubt they cannot be compared with non virgin. it why bible say the bed should remain undefiled. they are unique and is every good man’s dream

  • hmmm. I also got married as a virgin, but unfortunately i am never appreciated. Still in my humility as a wife and mother, i constantly get emotional, physical and verbal abuse. Also cheats on me and never involves me in decisions of the house.

  • being a virgin in this modern dispensation is extremely hard, such makes virgins rare to find. Congrats to anyone out there still a virgin, it ain’t easy. I’m a guy, 21 and I’m still a virgin. My prayer is to remain so till I know my wife in the right way.

  • Virginity is pride,honourable&God honours them even God can say because you are a He will make ur family a happy home

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