I’m always researching ways to enhance and enjoy my marriage. To some, this may not be a big deal. But for busy moms like myself, there are times that we barely have enough time for ourselves, let alone a moment or two to be a fulfilling and intentional wife. Disclaimer: I make no claims to be a relationship expert. This is a list that was created to inspire you, not cause guilt, or by any means be overwhelming.
Have fun with it and to be good at these, repeat them often and smile!
1. Cuddle. This could be a mini-spooning session before you drift off to sleep at night or just an “on the couch” moment after you’ve put the kids to bed.
2. Give him eye contact. Don’t they say the view to a person’s soul is through their eyes? Well look at your husband, not in his general direction, when he’s talking to you. It makes him feel that he has 100% of your attention.
3. Keep yourself up. No excuses for being frumpy! I know its hard to even shower some days, but at least try to throw on some makeup and get your hair done. Feeling good about yourself will make you a better wife!
4. Flip the switch to off! So often, we unintentionally speak to our husbands in a tone that is meant for our children. Please remember to get it together and check your tone before you speak to your husband.
5. Tell him! Simply, tell your husband that you love him in the most sincere and kind way you possibly can.
6. Love yourself. I’m a firm believer that a Happy Wife = Happy Home. Love yourself first so that you have the freedom to love your husband. If we have too much baggage and insecurities, how can we love our husbands?
7. Do what makes him happy. If he has a favorite meal, cook it. If he has a favorite dress he likes you to wear, wear it. Ask him or refresh your memory about what puts a smile on his face.
8. Pillow fight! If you’ve never tried this, then please do! It releases endorphins (the natural chemical that makes us happy) into our bodies. You’ll be laughing and breathing so hard, you won’t have a chance to take life so seriously.
9. Give him his space. If your husband is like mine, he enjoys his man-cave. At times, stop the kids from disturbing him and allow him to dwell in this sanctuary to just “be”. At times, be a sweetie and take him a meal or two and his favorite cold beverage.
10. Pray together at night. Quite honestly, this is a hard one for us, because my hubby keeps late hours working and I’m in “La La Land” when he’s turning in for the night. If it’s an easy one for you to do, then do it. Speak the coverage of Jesus over the head of your household.
11. Don’t nag! OK, since when does this one come easy? If you can ask nicely and remind him with kindness that’s a start, but try not to overwhelm with/about any one subject.
12. Be aware of his exits and entrances to your home. Never let him leave without a proper goodbye hug or a kiss. And certainly greet him after a long day’s work with the same and a smile. (Also see #3 for good measure)
13. Say good things about him. Isn’t it nice to overhear people saying good things about you? Let him hear you saying kind words about him to his family, your kids or your family and friends.
14. Be the fire starter. Every now and then, THEY would like to be pursued, enticed, seduced and feel WANTED.
15. Compliment him. If you like the way he just got his hair cut, please tell him. If he smells good, tell him. You get the picture.
13. Smack him on the butt! If this isn’t the norm for you, I’m sure this will cause a stir, a laugh, a conversation or something. Just call it a “love tap”.
14. Buy him a little something, just because. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Any surprise gift would be appreciated. No ulterior motives allowed, like a snow blower or tools. :-)
15. Give a massage. Enough said.
16. Slip him a little note inside his briefcase or lunch bag. Just say, “I’m thinking of you right now…” or “Can’t wait til you get home.” or more serious, “Thanks for being a good provider. Enjoy your day at work.”
17. Say yes to “Guys night out”! Just like you enjoy time with your girls, let him go out with guys. He needs the break, especially if it’s with other husbands.
18. Be subtly and blatantly submissive. Ask him for his advice and follow it through. Next time there’s a decision to be made. Tell him you wanted to “run it past him” first.
19. Smile, flirt and show a little leg. Enough said.
20. Write a “foggy mirror” message. When he’s in the shower in the morning, write him a love message on the mirror, so he’ll see it when he steps out. Isn’t that a nice way to start the day?
21. Nurse him. Don’t wait until he’s sick to look out for his health. When he does get sick, make sure you attend to his needs.
22. Kiss him. Not just little smooch – a long, passionate kiss should say, “I love you” and if you want it to say, “I want you.”
23. Start a ritual or a tradition together.
24. Be kind and show love to his mother. If your mother-in-law is no longer with you, then do this for the special elder in his life.
25. Keep your commitment and your vows. It takes a lot to fan the flames after the newlywed/honeymoon phase has been long gone. Your husband will see and appreciate your efforts and hard work that it takes to be a fulfilling, loving, beautiful and intentional wife and mother!