Is This Real Life? 7 Common Thoughts About Finding Someone Special


In a world where breakups are more frequent than successful love stories and people in the limelight switch partners like shoes, it’s hard to tell when someone is a good fit for you.

Add in the fact that dating seems impossible for someone like me, who has no time for games because she works full-time, is finishing up an undergrad degree and writes on the side.

When you go from constant games and let downs to someone who makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world, it’s truly a breath of fresh air — a relief, if you will.

You go from thinking there’s no way you can have a significant other and balance partying with friends to your friends making sure your partner will be there when they invite you out.

Here are a few self-sabotaging thoughts that go through our heads when we finally find someone we’re into:

1. Something must be wrong with him.

There’s no way this person is this amazing, doesn’t mind that I can’t cook and accepts me and all of my awkwardness, too.

He’s probably a secret serial killer or something, but until he ties me up (which I’m not super opposed to), I’ll ride it out.

Instead of assuming this person has to have issues, enjoy the fact that you finally found someone freakin’ normal.

2. How do I not ruin this?

I can’t keep a pet plant alive for more than three weeks, so how on earth will I keep this really cool dude interested in me?

Hopefully, my weird, drunken political rants don’t scare homie away.

Trying not to ruin a good thing is super okay. In fact, please act as normal as you possibly can.

3. What if he’s the one?

What if this is it though? What if I found the person I want to spend an extra long period of time with? I mean, I can barely commit to a new gym membership, but this one makes me want to stay. This is absolutely crazy!

Yes it is crazy. Very crazy.

4. What if he’s not the one?

I really like this person and I’m pretty sure I never want this to end, but what if it does?

When you’re a person who never gets your feelings involved and you finally do allow someone to break down your wall, it’s hard to envision that person going away. But, don’t let that keep you from enjoying the now.

5. Seriously, let me not mess this up.

Whether it lasts or not, let me do everything I can to not mess this up.

Sure, in real life I’m extra crazy, but he doesn’t need to know that. In fact, I’m going to be completely opposite of regular me.

When you finally meet someone you really don’t want to mess things up with, your love for glam metal and other odd things gets buried deep, deep inside the closet.

6. We have mutual interests? What?

Wait, you like to Netflix binge too? You can eat pizza five times a week as well? No way.

You’ve finally found another human being who is willing to bask in the same things you do and it weirds you the hell out.

It’s perfectly okay; take the fact that you both like watching weird documentaries at 4 in the morning and run as fast as you can with it.

7. I can’t believe this person actually makes me better.

For the most part, many of the relationships I’ve been in included a lot of toxic energy, jealousy and more.

When you find a partner who isn’t detrimental to almost everything you are trying to do, it’s like a whole new world because you get support rather than angst.

This allows you to improve not only yourself, but your relationship in bloom.

Being able to help the person you are dating grow and vice versa is a beautiful thing. Don’t let the weird thoughts of “this can’t be real” mess it up.


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