Strap on your stilettos, it’s time for class!
If you’ve ever fantasized about mesmerizing your man with a slow striptease, rest assured you’re not the alone. Wanting to tap into your inner diva and mastering the art of seduction is totally natural (not to mention incredibly sexy).
As the sex experts at PleasureMechanics.com, we know a thing or two about how couples can improve their sex lives and become better lovers. One of the most common questions is how you can give your man the best lap dance of his life without seeming like an amateur.
Here’s your guide to mastering the basics of lap dancing for your lover.
1. Treat It Like It’s A (Sexy) Special Occasion.
Lap dancing isn’t an everyday activity, but a seductive gift you can offer your man for special occasions. These days, people automatically assume that erotic dance is only for strip clubs and music videos, but it’s so much more than that.
Imagine your lover being completely spellbound by your every move, quivering with desire, ready to follow your every command. Learn to lap dance, and you’ll gain tremendous erotic power and confidence.
2. Practice Your Moves.
Long before you give your man a lap dance, start dancing for your own pleasure. Find a few songs that you find sexy and seductive and then practice dancing to them, enjoying the way the moves feel in your body.
Ditch the mirror and don’t worry about what looks sexy. Focus on what feels sexy to you.
One of our golden rules is ‘Get Out Of Your Head, Get Into Your Hips!’ Women spend too much energy worrying about how they look, what their lover is thinking and if they are performing adequately enough.
Take all of that energy and focus on how you FEEL. Bring the focus of your attention down into your body and notice the sensations of pleasurable movement.
Start with your hips. Place your hands on your hips and sway your hips left and right. Notice how your whole body curves in response. Then thrust your hips forward and notice how your spine arches.
All of these bends and curves are crazy sexy. Have a little extra flesh? Use it to your advantage and accentuate your curves as you bend and sway with the music.
Next, find a song that you love dancing to. You can choose a fast, booty-thumping song that makes you feel feisty and alive. Or you may prefer a sensual dance to a slow love song.
Find the songs that make you feel most alive, most erotically charged and most ready to seduce your lover. Then dance to the song over and over again until you are at ease moving and swaying to the rhythm.
You don’t have to choreograph a whole routine, just find a few good moves that feels sexy to you. The more confident you feel, the more desire you will build in your audience of one!
3. Get Your Space Ready.
When you are ready to give your man a lap dance, take a few moments to prepare the space. Clear the floor around your most comfortable chair. Imagine your man sitting in the chair, beaming at you with love and appreciation. Make sure you can walk all the way around the chair so you can dance in a 360-degree circle of seduction!
Dim the lights if you can or flood the room with candlelight. You may even want to buy colored light bulbs to create a new atmosphere. It doesn’t take much to create the thrill of novelty!
Create an atmosphere that makes you feel sexy, seductive and in the mood to dance. As you prepare the space, start taking long deep breaths and get yourself in the zone.
4. Make Sure Your Body And Mind Are In The Zone.
What you wear for your lap-dancing performance is totally up to you. You can go all out and dress up in your finest dress and high heels, go out on a date and give your lover a lap dance as dessert. Or you can hide gorgeous lingerie under casual clothes and surprise him on Sunday morning.
Make it your own. After all, a lap dance is an authentic expression of your sexuality!
You’ll be getting very close and intimate with your lover, so take the time to take a long shower or bath and anoint yourself with a scent you love. You’ll feel more confident and relaxed if you take a few moments to tend to your body before you present yourself to your lover.
Set aside all worries about mundane life. Ditch your to-do lists. Mindfully step into the role of seductress.
Your only job for the next stretch of time is to feel so good in your body that you cast a spell, seducing your lover into your pleasure zone. As much as you are giving a gift to your lover, you are also giving yourself the gift of a time to feel sexy, fully alive and sensually awake.
5. Build Up The Anticipation (It’ll Drive Him WILD!).
Don’t tell your man what he has in store for him, but hint that you have something special to offer him. Let him wonder what is coming next.
Start your lap dance in whatever style you prefer. You can put the music on and strut your stuff. Or just turn away, look over your shoulder as the song begins, wink at him and start to move. Whatever you do, commit fully.
Trust us, he is NOT going to be evaluating your dance moves. He’ll get excited at the opportunity to take in all of your beauty and will love your confidence in your body.
Don’t worry about getting every move right and just let yourself have fun with it. Your own pleasure is the secret sauce that will make your lap dance the most memorable of his life.
So own your power, move for your own pleasure and know that you are giving him the profound gift of watching your gorgeous body dance!
6. Ladies, Tease It Out.
Start far away from him, and time your approach with the song so the last few moves are right on his lap. As you gain confidence you can even create a playlist for a multi-song seduction, starting slow and working up to serious grinding on his lap.
But to start, pick one song and know that you have three to five minutes to give it your all.
From far away, make eye contact with him and slowly start moving into your dance. Then peel away one item of clothing at a time – or leave it all on! You can even combine striptease and lap dancing.
If it makes you feel more confident, leave all your clothes on and leave the undressing for later. Or strip down just to your lingerie. This is your expression, so do what makes you feel best.
As you move, slowly approach him and then back away. Then move around behind him, lightly stroking his hair and shoulders. Let him feel your breasts and hair graze the nape of his neck.
Then circle back around. Your goal is to tease him as much as possible, making him ache to touch you. If he tries to reach out and touch you, playfully slap his hand around and firmly say “No touching!” Then dance just inches away from him. The denial will make him all the hotter.
7. Keep It Simple.
Once you have built up anticipation, start dancing closer to him. When you feel ready, let the climax of the lap dance begin. Turn so you are facing away from him and slowly let your hips sink closer and closer to his lap.
Whether he gets fully erect or not, remember that an erection is NOT a full measure of his arousal. So don’t worry about how hard he is.
Here are four simple moves for once you are dancing in his lap:
Start by swaying your hips left and right. This simple move is surprisingly powerful. Add a little dip by bending your knees as you sway.
Lower your hips so they are just barely above his pants and then move your hips in circles in time with the music.
Try a pelvic tilt by thrusting your hips forward and back. Give your hips an extra push as you move back to make your booty bounce in a delicious way!
The fourth move you can try is a simple bounce squat. Position yourself squarely above his lap and then squat quickly up and down, bouncing on his lap without ever making full contact.
This move is a huge tease and turn-on. Play with speed; start with slow squats and then bring up the tempo until you are bouncing in the air, just above him.
Glance over your shoulder once in a while and make eye contact. He’ll want to both look in your eyes and at your beautiful body—the desire to do both will be a delightful form of erotic tease!
8. Remember To Finish Strong.
When you are ready to finish off as the song comes to an end, turn around so you are facing him, straddling one or both of his legs. Then do the same four moves: sway, thrust, circle and bounce.
Facing your lover means that your breasts (covered or not, they will still be a treat) will be at about face level. Use this to your advantage, and as you move your hips around his lap pay attention to all the delicious ways you can tease him.
When the song comes to an end, you have two choices. You can settle right into his lap and then let the charge take you into making out (and whatever other intimate activities you have on your mind!).
Or, you can get up and strut right out of the room, leaving him out of breath and dazzled by your presence. Remember, you are in charge!
9. Give Your Sexy Self A Pat On The Back.
Choosing to give your lover a lap dance is a very powerful step towards more sexual confidence, in and out of the bedroom.
When you can accept that fact that you are gorgeous and a worthy object of his attention, you start to forget to care about the little imperfections and instead focus on the incredible pleasure your body can feel.
Lap dancing is a gift for both of you. Your lover gets the joy and arousal of watching you dance, and you get all of the pleasure of feeling like a powerful seductress.
Remember, start the journey by setting aside time to dance in private and bring your awareness to how much pleasure you can feel just by moving to one of your favorite songs.
Once you feel great and are ready to seduce your lover with a lap dance, follow the steps in this guide and you’ll create a potent pleasure spell that is sure to transport you both.