Here are the 36 questions to ask your spouse on your dreamy date night — yes, the one that is going to help you two fall madly in love all over again. Go ahead, bring your phone on your date and go through each of these questions one by one. Sparks are going to fly, folks. They are going to fly.
Open your 36 Questions app and put the study by Dr. Aron to the test — your marriage deserves this refreshing little experiment! Now, a few reminders: You’re not going to answer the questions with one or two words, or with the phrase, “You already know.” You’re not going to complain about how silly this is, or how awkward you feel. You are going to open up, and take a chance at love again; deep, connected love. The kind you sometimes miss and even ache for.
You and your spouse are going to ask each other these questions over the course of an hour and a half (or more), and have a deep, meaningful conversation. It’s going to be renewing, enlightening and romantic. And you’re going to find yourself suddenly very attracted to your spouse, and very connected to him or her. That’s the magic of it all. Just 36 little questions for a more intimate and close connection with your one true love. Happy loving, friends.
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Name three things you and your [spouse] appear to have in common.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your [spouse] your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
What does friendship mean to you?
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your [spouse]. Share a total of five items.
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … ”
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … ”
If you were going to become a close friend with your [spouse], please share what would be important for him or her to know.
Tell your [spouse] what you like about him or her; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
Share with your [spouse] an embarrassing moment from your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your [spouse] something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your [spouse’s] advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your [spouse] to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
This article was originally published on Nurturing Marriage.