7 Things Your Wife Really Want From You

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mid adult couple holding hands and praying
mid adult couple holding hands and praying

The saying goes that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend,” and, sure, women occasionally enjoy jewelry or grand gestures, but your wife typically wants simpler things from you. Here are seven things you can do to make your wife’s eyes really light up.

1. Connect spiritually

Whatever your faith or tradition, when both partners take some time each day to do what will build them up spiritually, their bond is strengthened. This may mean praying together, meditating or even sitting quietly in a peaceful spot, perhaps close to nature. She will also appreciate it when you take the initiative to suggest this way of staying close.

2. Listen without trying to fix

It may be a truism that men like to solve problems, but she really appreciates when you quietly listen to them without trying to offer a solution. Marriage and family therapist Dr. Jonathan Swinton tells men: “Don’t give unsolicited advice or assume you should fix things. What she needs is to feel heard and understood. That is often the best fix — to help her not feel alone in her struggles.” She may just need to “vent” by talking about what’s bothering her. Understanding the process is the key; often, just sharing what’s bothering her makes her feel less overwhelmed, even if she hasn’t solved the problem. Talking also helps her “think out loud” and solve the problem with minimal outside input.

3. Provide a relaxed morning

Whatever the demands of her life, it’s a nice gift to have other quiet mornings periodically where an overworked woman can sleep in, read and get up at her leisure. A rested wife is a happy wife. To make those mornings particularly enjoyable, a thoughtful husband could make the bed with luxuriously soft bamboo sheets.

4. Put down your phone

It’s no secret “technology is affecting all kinds of social interactions,” Dr. Meghan Tyler tells Australian Women’s Health Magazine. Devices in hands and in every room lead to decreased communication and cut into meaningful one-on-one time. Turning off the TV, the computer and the smartphone for an evening once a week or a couple times a month can inject a much-needed dose of togetherness and intimacy into a marriage. It doesn’t take much. “You have to reinvest in your relationship, which doesn’t mean spending eight hours a day in it,” Dr. Tyler says. “You can spend six seconds or 10 minutes daily and see a change.”

5. Use a soothing touch

Women may be on their feet throughout much of their days, running errands, working, or soothing a fussy child. Those feet would love some TLC at the end of the day. A simple foot rub doesn’t take long, but it makes a world of difference in allowing the rest of a busy woman’s body to relax and settle in for a much-needed night’s sleep. You can make it extra-special by massaging in some lotion that refreshes and softens those hard-working feet, then enveloping them in comfy socks.

6. Recognize how much she loves documenting her little ones

If she loves taking photos and videos of your children (and she probably does), why not give her a little something to highlight those memories? Print and frame some of her favorites photos and hang them around the house. Film the kids telling her what they love most about mom. Or have them write a little note about their favorite memory together. She will undoubtedly cherish it.

7. Leave a love note

It doesn’t have to be long or complicated. In fact, short and sweet will be just perfect. AllProDad.com has some ideas for simple things to write, including what you think about her is beautiful and expressing appreciation for the work she does and sacrifices she makes.

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