In case you’re curious, the first is a lack of communication in their relationships but that’s an article in and of itself. What is the reason some men simply will not commit to a relationship? I have good reasons but first let me note that I will not be addressing specific relationships but, instead, the broader perspective. In other words, there may be individual reasons for specific men not committing to specific women and those situations are too isolated for me to address. In the bigger picture, there are five reasons why men have a hard time committing and that’s what I want to explore.
So without further ado, in no specific order:
1. It’s commitment. And to a lot of men, the word alone is scary. There are connotations that come with it that, if isolated, are not bothersome but when said under the commitment umbrella, become a lot scarier, more permanent, etc. To fully understand this bizarre but to true to life phenomena, one would have to understand the power of environmental influences and build-up. Think of all of the caricatures of commitment phobes, divorcees and stage five clingers and the like in music, film and television and think about the guys that have never actually been in a relationship or experienced these things but for whom commitment is still a scary thought. As well, we’ve lived in a divorce laden society for a long time and there are men that want no part of it be it lawyers, bank accounts, custody disputes, split-up of friends and family, etc.
2. Sex with one person their entire life doesn’t always sound appealing. I find it genuinely bizarre that society will acknowledge or associate men with being players and sex fiends that are hard to keep loyal and on the other side we will acknowledge or associate men as less committal. Are they all noncommittal sex fiends? Uh, no. But, there are some that simply don’t believe in or have an interest in monogamy. In some cases they change their view after living the bachelors life for so long until some emptiness creeps in and in some cases, they’ll always be playing the field.
3. They want the option left open for a new GIG because they believe the Grass Is Greener on the other side. Why would Jerry want to commit to Gillian when a Gwen or Stephanie could be prettier, less maintenance or more tolerant of his OCD tendencies? It’s easier, to these types of men, to imagine and hope for a perfect relationship than to accept that Gillian may be perfect for them.
4. Summer of George Syndrome. Translation: As long as I’m dating Elaine, I will not be able to watch the Yankees games with Jerry or get drinks with Kramer. It will always be about Elaine and I don’t want to do that dance all the time, pun intended. I want me time, too! So says the less committal George.
5. I don’t have to. In other words, if I can have my cake (sex, companionship, etc.) on my terms and when I’m available, why would I commit? This one warrants no further explanation.