Here are the most common qualities and attributes we’re looking for:
1. Become driven and motivated.
Ambition, motivation and drive are sexy as hell. Not many people see someone sitting on the couch all day, unemployed and slightly overweight, due to the high consumption of saturated fats, and say, “Ah yes, very sexy.”
Someone who has goals, who pushes him- or herself to do better is always seen as sexy. Someone who inspires you to do, give or be more than you are is someone worth your time.
However, it should be a two-way street; if she is constantly inspiring you, pushing you and picking you up, what do you offer back? (Spoiler alert: If what you offer back is the ability to “make a mean grilled cheese sandwich,” it is not equivalent.)
Rather than sitting back and selfishly reaping in the luxuries, try becoming driven and ambitious. That way, you can work together to push each other.
2. Be honest.
We all want someone who can be honest with us in any situation, ranging from, “Does this make me look fat?” to “Did you cheat on me?”
You can not expect someone to be truthful to you 100 percent of the time when you yourself are not sipping on the honest tea. You’ll have to look for the truth within yourself before seeking it in others.
3. Be the “u” in “values.”
Values and morals differ from person to person, and from cultural to personal ideologies. They are subjective, but, simply put: If you want them in someone else, you need to have them yourself.
4. Be an intelligent (wo)man.
I often hear people complaining they can not find intelligent SOs, yet these same people are finding their daily news through Perez Hilton.
No disrespect to Perez, but if you’re looking for someone who is more conscious of current events or knowledgeable in Chaucer, please make the effort to expand your intellectual horizons as well.
5. Be open.
There is nothing sexier than arguing passionately about something that started out as a joke. And instead of simply throwing words back and forth to each other, your SO catches your words and takes the time to understand what you’re saying.
Then, your SO admits he or she can understand where you’re coming from.
POV is incredibly important in all aspects of a relationship.
6. Be present.
As much as we all secretly want to be the main character, who doesn’t want to be saved?
“The chase” concept was fun in middle school for two weeks after our first kisses, and then again during junior year, a month before and after every school dance.
“The chase” made another appearance in our sophomore year in college, after we “totally outgrew” the party scene. And now here we are, just so over it.
Be yourself, be emotionally available and be present. Just don’t be difficult for no reason; it gets old.
We’re always looking for the perfect person, the perfect characteristics and the perfect jawline. We give up on ourselves after we seem to hit a dead end from searching for all those years.
The two options for obtaining happiness in our lives should not be limited to either seeking and searching, or sitting idly and waiting for someone else.
Collect yourself, and understand what you want. Understand that in order to receive these great qualities, you must portray them, as well.
Embody your ideals, strive for your beliefs of greatness and play fair. Happiness may come to you, but there’s no guarantee. Think positive, and stay proactive.