We all know that marrying someone for their looks is not the best idea. But why? Being attracted to someone is important in a relationship. If you have no physical attraction to a person, then you probably will not be interested in a romantic relationship, no matter how witty or charismatic they may be. But if we only base our relationship on how a person looks, we are likely to face a lot of problems in the future. Here are a few.
1. Looks fade
Let’s be honest; we all know that the possibility of someone keeping their good looks for all their lives is not guaranteed. Sure, there are some people who just look better with age, but there are others that do not. Wrinkles come, hair recedes, skin sags and there are lots of other physical effects that come with aging. When you marry solely based on looks, you may be disappointed with how someone changes over time. It is the love and bond you develop for a person’s whole personality that allows you to keep the flame alive long after the physique fades.
2. A person’s personality matters
Personalities really affect how a person looks at you. If someone is the most gorgeous person on earth, but they have the worst personality, you may not see them as attractive at all. Think about that bully growing up, or a person who just really rubs you the wrong way. Do you find him or her attractive? Other people may see him or her as handsome or pretty, but because you know how his or her real personality, it may be impossible to see past the bitter remarks or disrespectful behavior. Get to really know a person before you decide he or she is the one for you. Your initial attraction to outer appearance may change when you see how he or she is on the inside.
3. Chemistry is more than skin deep
Chemistry consists of the ingredients that make up your evaluation of a person. How he or she looks, smells and behaves makes up the overall chemistry you have with him or her. You may think a person is physically attractive with and attractive personality, but if there is no spark when you kiss or hold hands then he or she may not be the one for you. It is also important for you to meet who you are dating in person. If you only communicate over the phone or online you are not getting the entire picture. Even video chatting leaves some realities out (a smell you just cannot stand, for example!). These things may seem petty or superficial, but this is the person you are possibly going to spend the rest of your life with. You need to have chemistry.
4. Unexpected things happen
Besides the natural aging process, there are other things that may happen to a person that is beyond his or her control. Perhaps an accident leaves him or her with a deformity, or a fire leaves scars. Even getting pregnant and having children will change a woman’s body. If you were with someone solely for his or her body, you would no longer have a reason to stay. Truly seeing someone’s beauty, and loving him or her for it, does not fade through these changes. In fact, in the face of tragedy, your relationship can and should become stronger. This is when you need each other the most. The person you marry should be someone you trust enough to love you for who you are, not just what you look like.
There are no guarantees in life, including a person keeping his or her good looks throughout his or her lifespan. Time, unexpected events and circumstances may affect a person’s looks. It is incredibly shallow and arrogant to think a person will never change over time, including yourself. Loving a person for his or her whole package — personality, behaviors toward you and others, and even his or her little quirks — is what keeps a relationship strong.