So, to all you girls out there, I hope you can heed my advice and find someone who will love you and take care of you in all the ways that you deserve. Never give up — he’s out there waiting for you.
In the meantime, here are just a few ways you can avoid marrying a jerk and find a keeper:
1. Don’t be desperate
Desperation always leads to poor decision making. Men can smell desperation from a mile away, and it will either 1. completely scare them off, or 2. open the door for them to exploit you. Have confidence in yourself. Wait for the right guy to come into your life, and DO NOT SETTLE, even if you are lonely or sad.
2. Don’t be half a person waiting for your better half. Be a whole person
Get an education, travel, go to church, set goals, cultivate your talents, live your dreams. If you sit around doing nothing waiting for your Prince Charming to arrive, then you’re wasting precious time. If you can learn to live a fulfilling life as a single woman, you bring that into your marriage, and it will help you create a fulfilling life together.
3. Learn how to correctly judge a man’s character
Look for the warning signs and trust your gut. Say your boyfriend does something that makes you question his integrity. Think about the men in your life that you respect — would they do something like that? If he does something that makes you sick to your stomach, then don’t make excuses for him — no matter how much you love him.
4. Step back from the situation
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of a relationship and forget to step back and take a good, long look at whether or not it’s actually good for you. Don’t rush — take it slow. Ask your friends and family their opinions, and take them seriously. Spend time reflecting and evaluating if he is really the right one for you, and be honest with yourself.
5. Set your standards and then stick with them
If he is not up to snuff, then why waste your time? Every woman should set standards for the types of guys she wants to date and then stick with them. It’s not about setting impossible expectations for your future husband; it’s about making sure you don’t settle for someone and regret it later.
6. Fight for the type of marriage and family you want
Set your sights high and fight for the type of marriage and family that you want. Learn from your parents’ examples. If you didn’t grow up in the best family, and your parents’ relationship wasn’t ideal, it doesn’t mean that yours has to be that way too. Learn from their bad examples and don’t make the same mistakes.
7. Work with a therapist to resolve any issues
If you’ve experienced abuse or hardships in the past, then get help! Don’t allow that pain to haunt your future relationships. If you find yourself falling into a pattern of destructive relationships, then it is worth it to talk to a professional about why you are attracted to the wrong types of guys, and how you can fix it.
8. Avoid one-night stands like the plague
You are better than that. If a man thinks you’re only worth pleasing for a night, then he isn’t worth even a second of your time. Wait for a man who is going to take it slow and only shows affection when he truly means it. A real man will protect you, not use you.
9. Date gentlemen
Call me old school, but I am definitely a fan of chivalry. If he asks you out, he should pay. I also think that he should walk you to the door at the end of the night. Being a gentleman is a sign of respect.
10. Understand that you are more than a body
In fact, you are a lot more than just a body. If a man only likes you for your looks, then that is a serious problem. Date guys who genuinely appreciate you, your intellect, talents, ideas and heart. If he is only in it for your body, then that’s how he’s going to treat you.